Mother's Day

Mother's day is finally here. While I'm not bringing out my stepmother for dinner today, the whole family will be celebrating in two weeks time. One of the difficulties with grown up children with families of their own is the ability to find common time.

But today, I want to write about my late mother instead. She passed away 15 years ago, a long time by any standard but her legacy lives on in her children. Last weekend, my family paid a visit to my mother's eldest brother's house during his house warming. We found out from Uncle Allan that my mother's love of cats and animals was inherited. I never thought that love for animals were a inherited trait...it seemed more like a social condition; if your parents used to have pets and you grow up surrounded with pets, you are likely to have one yourself since you are used to the idea. But clearly, even though my mother was given away as a baby, she had the same love for animals as did her biological parents and siblings.

However, it is not just her love of animals that make people love her. It is her generosity and compassion. I remembered when I was small that one of my father's relatives stole her entire jewelery collection (at the time, we were really poor and she struggled to save for them). Instead of reporting it to the police, she forgave the person and still welcomed her (albeit more cautiously). My father's eldest sister considered her to be her actual sister and told me after my mother's passing that she had lost a confidante.

My mother was the one who taught me to be inclusive and that family is not about blood. It can be seen through my mother's relations...my mother was adopted and so was her younger half-sister. Her parents split and she was raised by a stepmother who brought her oldest daughter. So my mother grew with a step-sister and a half-sister who had no blood connection with each other. Yet, till today, I am close with both my aunts because my mother used to very close to them. My relatives also include my father's step-sister's family. My step-aunt happened to be my mother's best friend. That was how my parents met.

So, it was not a wonder that my family was able to embrace my stepmother and her family. To us, it is not the blood that matters but the feelings of closeness. Something that my mother managed to pass down to us.

Of course, the last advice she ever gave me is to be humble. That is not an easy task but I am trying to follow the advice to the best of my ability...for all our differences, mom, I do love you.