Far from home...

End of 2011.

2011-12-31T22:55:00.000Z

2011 will end in a few hours and I think it is time to stop and take stock of what has taken place in my life and around me. A steady job, good colleagues and good friends are some of the blessings of this past year. Definitely my family has been the greatest blessing that God has given me.

This year has been a year of travel. From my yearly Singapore trips to the monthly trips to London and more, I've clocked more air miles and miles in the car than ever in my life. I am grateful to God for the companions He has given me on my travels. From Amy, Yiota and Alexia on my Cyprus trip to Huda, Samia, Shereen, Sumayia and Shahidah on my Birmingham trip, alhamdulillah, they have enriched my experiences. May God bless all of them for their companionship.

This year is also a year of being grateful - grateful for the little things like not being in debt, being relatively healthy, being in good company who always remind one another. Also grateful for - not being in Japan or New Zealand during the tsunami/earthquake, not being in Somalia/Horn of Africa for the famine, not being in Greece and other EU countries in grips of Sovereign crisis, not being in London during the riots, and so much more!

Oh Allah, may the new year bring my family, my friends and me closer to You. May next year bring us closer to one another as well. May next year also allow us enough to contribute enough to the wellbeing of our communities. May we be better people next year than we are this year. Ameen.

Is racial identity important?

2011-04-30T22:33:00.004+01:00

Recently in Singapore, there is a big issue when the Minister of Environment, a Malay, remarked that Malay should be taught as a foreign language. On reading the various news and commentaries, I was unsurprised that I didn't really feel strongly about it other than the fact that I think it is unfair to the Malays. Seriously, it didn't affect me personally.

Several weeks before that, I met a Malay Singaporean who was studying in Cambridge and she asked me something to the point of whether I feel Malay? That is the question, isn't it? Do I think myself as Malay and therefore makes it part of my identity? Is then racial identity important?

If you ask me what my race is, I would say I'm Malay (and half Chinese), but that's because it is a fact that my father is a Malay. However, do I identify with Malays? Possibly not. I can probably say that neither my brother nor sister would identify themselves with Malays.

Perhaps that's because of our upbringing. Before going to the University, I had very few Malay friends. We grew up rarely mixing with the Malay kids in our neighbourhood, spending most times with friends from school. Given I went to CHIJ (a Catholic school) and then to Nanyang Junior College (a mainly Chinese dominated school), I grew up with a mixture of Chinese, Indian, Malay and Eurasian kids. At home, we spoke mainly English amongst the siblings and with our father. This was instituted by our father to improve our English. Culturally, my father did not and still does not practise much of the Malay traditions. We grew up mainly with Muslim values without the cultural baggage. For example, my parents did not do "kenduri doa selamat" which in the Malay tradition is a gathering where you invite people to pray for the dead and then feed them. But even then, I lost faith in the Muslim community as I saw them to be very inward looking, caring more for the form than the substance.

After going to the University, I rediscovered Islam. The friendships that I formed within the Muslim Society in university are mostly with Malays but the friendships were based on being Muslim brothers and sisters and not so much based on being Malay. However, as I grew up and started working and went on to explore the world, there are three great old friends who remained and none of them are Malays. I'm not sure whether they see me as my race but I seriously don't see them in a racial light.

As I look back now, I realise that race is not an issue for me. My family and friends are made up of a mix of different races and I feel belong to them. What I feel is I'm a Singaporean and I'm a Muslim. A Malay, a Chinese, an Indian, or any other race, or bi-racial, it does not matter as to who you are deep inside. What matters is the values you hold; that you should get to know people for who they are, not for what they are.

I think to reach a racial harmony in Singapore, the racial barrier and constant harping on racial identity need to be cast aside. We need to be racially blind if ever we want to reach true meritocracy. I think a race is an accident of birth...God's way to make things more colourful for us but nothing to impede our understanding of each other. This is especially true as we have more mix marriages. Like that of my brother's marriage. If he has children, they will be a quarter Chinese, a quarter Malay, and half Burmese. My sister's children are almost half Chinese, a quarter Malay and a quarter Indian (probably some Arabic blood as well). Are they expected to think of themselves in terms of a single race? Is it fair for them?

Therefore, no, I don't think a racial identity is important.

Hajj and the Prophet s.a.w. Part 2

2010-11-14T11:56:00.011Z

The Hajj begins yesterday, the 7th day of the last month in the Islamic calender. Muslims around the world would have finish their tawaf and sa'i, i.e. running between the hills of Safa and Marwa. One of the practice after the completion of the tawaf, they would offer a two raka'ah prayer. This reminds me of the times when the Prophet did his prayers at the Ka'aba and the leaders of the Quraish would taunt him. There was once they actually heaped rubbish on him. And yet over a thousand years later, Muslims are able to pray in peace within this sacred precint.

Today, they are on their way to Mina. While today there are buses and other vehicles taking the pilgrims from Mecca to Mina, the pilgrims in centuries past would have walked or ridden to Mina and onto 'Arafat tomorrow.

3. The Hijra

The whole effort to journey from Mecca to Mina to Arafat and then Mudzalifah back to Mina reminds me of the efforts of the early Muslims and the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. in the two Hijra (migration).

The first Hijra saw the persecuted Muslims, amongst them the Prophet's daughter and her husband, seeking shelter in Abasinia (modern day Ethopia). The journey must have been difficult for them, especially since it was mostly done in secret, and so too staying in foreign land with different culture, fearing that they would be forced to go back to the persecution of the Quraish. It showed their devotion to Allah and the Prophet, putting their faith first before familial ties and comfort of home and the familiar.

If the first Hijra was difficult, the second was even harder. Not in terms of distance/journey but in terms of emotions and the straights the emigrants were in. The second Hijra was so significant that the Muslim calender is set based on it (officially based on the day of the Prophet's Hijra). The second Hijra was basically a cutting of all ties from their family and kinsmen; they were outcasts, most without much else other than the clothes on their backs, all for the sake of Allah. There was to be no return, not until much later.

4. 'Arafat

Pilgrims will stay the afternoon in 'Arafat; the place where the Prophet s.a.w. gave his last sermon. The place in which the following revelation was sent down:

This day the disbelievers despair of prevailing against your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me! This day have I perfected for you your religion and fulfilled My favour unto you, and it hath been My good pleasure to choose Islam for you as your religion.

The day of 'Arafat is also a day of contemplation, of prayer and recitation of the Qur'an. This day harkens back to the practice of the Prophet and the companions to spend the last ten days of Ramadhan in i'tikaf (retreat). Like in i'tikaf, this is a day to commune with Allah, that even with other people around. A day to remind the pilgrims of the day of judgement, of meeting Allah.

The Prophet s.a.w. and Hajj, Part 1.

2010-11-12T21:25:00.020Z

When we think of the Prophet s.a.w. and Hajj, we immediately think of the farewell Hajj - the one and only time in which the Prophet s.a.w. performed Hajj. However, from the speech he gave on the day at Mount 'Arafat, it was the pinnacle of his message - the full stop/exclamation mark to the whole "sentence". Just as much as the Prophet succeeded in bringing back the Hajj in line with its original purpose and tradition as laid by the Prophet Abraham a.s., so too had the Prophet succeeded in bringing the Arabs of his time and the later Muslims (till today) back to the pure religion of Abraham- that of submission to Allah s.b.t.

Therefore, the Hajj can also be seen as the embodiment of the message of Islam. I think just as Hajj is symbolically linked to Abraham, Hagar, and Ismail, so too, the Hajj is linked to the struggles, trials and tribulation, and triumphs of Prophet s.a.w. and his companions. May Allah guide me; while I've not been on Hajj, I think if I were to go on Hajj, it is the lives of the Prophet and his companions that I would relate best to within the experience.

In this post, I will try to draw parallels between some of the elements of Hajj and the elements within the life of the Prophet s.a.w. and the early Muslims.

1. Submission to Allah

Labayk Allahuma Labayk Labayk. La shareeka laka Labayk. Innal hamda wannimata laka wal mulk. La shareeka Lak
(Here I am at your service, oh Lord, here I am - here I am. No partner do you have. Here I am. Truly, the praise and the favor are yours, and the dominion. No partner do you have.)

Those are the words that marked the beginning of a person's Hajj (or Umrah). The first and foremost element in the statement is that of Tauhid - of acknowledging there is None other than Allah, the Only One worthy of praise and to Whom belongs the Dominion. That is the message that the Prophet dedicated twenty-three years (a full third) of his life spreading. The first martyr of Islam was a woman, Summayyah, who was tortured by the Meccans to renounce Islam but died, holding on strongly to her faith. That's why in Islam, we call these martyrs "Shaheed" which basically means "a witness". Their sacrifice of their lives is a testimony to their faith in the message of Tauhid.

The second element is that of service. As the person enters Hajj, he enters into Allah's service. Yet, a Muslim should always be at Allah's service for we are His 'abd. The early Muslims showed par excellence the level of dedicated service that could possibly be rendered to Allah. Abu Bakr r.a., the first Caliph, used to be a rich man before Islam. During the early years of Islam, he used to ransom the Muslim slaves from their Masters and set them free. One famous slave to be saved by Abu Bakr was Bilal r.a. Later on, during the war with the Meccans, when the Prophet asked for contributions to the war effort, Abu Bakr gave all of his earthly possessions.

Till today, Dar Al-Arqam is a well known name - the House of Arqam is always used in relation to studies and learning. It was rooted in history when Islam was still at its infancy. The companion Arqam r.a. opened his house (near the foot of Safa - http://www.islamiclandmarks.com/saudi_daarul_arqam.html ) to the Prophet to teach the early companions in secret. His house was where the companions gathered to learn more about Islam and to memorise the verses of the Quran that were being revealed. His service at this crucial time in the history of Islam should not be forgotten.

Numerous other companions of the Prophet s.a.w. and many more Muslims over the centuries too have been at the service of Allah and as Muslims, we too should remember that like those before us, we should be at the service of Allah and therefore should always stand ready in awareness of Him. As such, the Hajj brings this point home through the utterance of the words above.

2. Brotherhood

One of the unique elements of Hajj is that of the universal brotherhood. As millions flock to Mecca, standing shoulder to shoulder, moving as one body in the tawaf (circumbulation) around the Ka'aba, gathering all together in Arafat, there can be no better picture of the Brotherhood of Islam in this day and age.

But as we actually struggle to actualise the unity of the Ummah outside of the Hajj, what better example can there be than in example of the Prophet s.a.w. and his companions. The bond of brotherhood/Islamic community was fostered above and beyond tribal allegiance in the establishment of the first Muslim community in Madinah. In Madinah, the Prophet in his wisdom, paired the emigrants from Mecca who had broken their own tribal relations with the pagan Meccans with the people of Madinah. These pairings were not mere lip service. The emigrants were for the most part without material possessions and in need of help adjusting to a new environment and culture. The pairings helped aided their transition into the new Muslim community, to the point the people of Madinah became known as the Ansars, i.e. the helpers. The feeling of brotherhood was such to an extend where some of the Ansars offered part of their wealth with the emigrants. This was the case of `Abd al Rahman ibn `Awf (emigrant) and Sa'd ibn al Rabi`(Ansar). That didn't mean that the emigrants took advantage of such feelings and leech off the Ansars. In fact, many of them found their feet again and grew prosperous as traders and farmers.

Amongst the Ansar themselves, one of the reasons for their welcoming the Prophet and the other emigrants were that the rivalry between the two major clans of Madinah, the Aws and the Khasraj, had escalated to an extend that there had been civil war. Embracing Islam and welcoming the Prophet into their community had the benefit of uniting the two rival clans into a single community. In fact, it was during the pilgrimage seasons that the first and second Bai'at (pledge of allegiance) of 'Aqabah (near Mina) were concluded. The first Bai'at of 'Aqabah occured as follows:

When six men from the Khasraj who came for one of the pilgrimage seasons embraced Islam, they delivered its message to their people. And so the next pilgrimage, twelve men, both from Khasraj and Aws, made their pledge to the Prophet at 'Aqabah known as the First 'Aqabah.

In the words of one of them: "We pledged our allegiance to the Messenger of God on the night of the First 'Aqabah, that we would associate nothing with God, that we would neither steal, not commit fornication, nor slay our offspring' nor utter slanders; and that we would not disobey him in that which was right. And he said to us: 'If ye fulfil this pledge, then Paradise is yours; and if ye commit one of these sins and then receive punishment for it in this world, that shall serve as expiation. And if ye conceal it until the Day of the Resurrection, then it is for God to punish or forgive, even as He will.' " (from Martin Lings, Muhammad: His life based on earliest sources)

A year later, Islam had spread to much of the people of Aws and Khasraj, thanks to the effort of the Prophet's emmisary, Mus'ab. The Second 'Aqabah then saw seventy-three men and two women making a pledge to protect the Prophet as they protect their own families. The binding ties of Islam not only stopped the civil war but transformed them to the status of "Ansars." such that the Prophet's love for them was made manifest later on after the siege of Ta'if. In this instance,

Then the Prophet went to them, and, having given praise and thanks to God, he addressed them: "Men of the Helpers, word hath come to me that ye are deeply moved against me in your souls. Did I not find you erring, and God guided you, poor and God enriched you, enemies each of the other and God reconciled your hearts?" "Yea indeed," they answered. "God and His Messenger are most bountiful and most gracious." "Will ye not retort against me?" he said. "How should we retort?" they asked, in some perplexity. "If ye wished," he answered, "ye might say unto me, and say truthfully, and be believed: 'Thou didst come unto us discredited, and we credited thee, forlorn and we helped thee, an outcast and we took thee in, destitute and we comforted thee.' 0 Helpers, are ye stirred in your souls about the things of this world whereby I have reconciled men's hearts that they may submit unto God, when you yourselves I have entrusted unto your Islam? Are ye not well content, 0 Helpers, that the people take with them their sheep and their camels, and that ye take with you the Messenger of God unto your homes? If all men but the Helpers went one way, and the Helpers another, I would go the way of the Helpers. God have Mercy upon the Helpers. and on their sons and on their sons' sons." They wept until their beards were wet with their tears. and with one voice they said: "We are well content with the Messenger of God as our portion and our lot." (Martin Lings, Muhammad: His life based on earliest sources)

Taking the example of the Aws and Khasraj, we need to put aside
our differences and rivalry to truly unite as helpers of Islam. Shoulder
to shoulder in tawaf, in prayer and in working together in the service of
Allah.

Congregational Prayer

2010-09-14T22:32:00.002+01:00

In 'Struggle to Surrender' by Jeffrey Lang, there is this section:

"Here I am, trying to concentrate all my attention on God, and yet I am
constantly conscious of someone's body brushing against me on my right and
left!"

I told him that I thought he had arrived at an important
observation that uncovers a fundamental precept of Islam: even in your most
intense worship, you are not to forget your brother or sister on your
right and on your left. In other words, your personal and spiritual
welfare and salvation is inseparably linked to your response to your fellow
human beings.

The complain to Jeffrey Lang brought back a recurring question in my mind. Why is it that Islam puts such great emphasis in congregational prayers, even to the point of making it compulsory at least once a week (and for brothers) to have such a congregational prayer in the form of the Friday prayer? And in the second chapter, verse 43, God specifically say:

Bow down in prayer with all who thus bow down.

which really puts the emphasis on congregational prayer.

Jeffrey Lang stated in a few words a convincing answer to my question. In truth, the Qur'an has hinted at this with its emphasis of combining prayer and zakah (alms-giving). Iterated several times, we first comes across it in the second chapter, verse 3:

"Who believe in [the existence of] that which is beyond the reach of human
perception, and are constant in prayer, and spend on others out of what We
provide for them as sustenance."

Here, Muhammad Asad commented that

Ar-rizq ("provision of sustenance") applies to all that may be of benefit to
man, whether it be concrete (like food, property, offspring, etc.) or abstract
(like knowledge, piety, etc.). The "spending on others" is mentioned here in one
breath with God-consciousness and prayer because it is precisely in such
selfless acts that true piety comes to its full fruition. It should be borne in
mind that the verb anfaqa (lit., "he spent") is always used in the Qur'an to
denote spending freely on, or as a gift to, others, whatever the motive may
be.

The coupling of prayer and zakah tells us that prayer, which is ultimately a direct communication with God and therefore quite personal, is incomplete without the outer dimension and manifestation of zakah, which links us to our fellow human being. But in order to 'spend freely' as Muhammad Asad puts it, it is indeed a selfless act, in that we have to deny ourselves of our love for wealth and recognise the rights of others on the wealth that God has given us. This is not an easy act unless we know and love our fellow human being.

Thus Islam ensures the building of the rapport with our brothers and sisters in Islam by instituting the congregational prayer among other forms of worship. Through the congregational prayer, the sense of belonging to the community of believers is developed and thus makes it easier to identify with the poor, needy and to give out of what God has allocated for us to them. For when we are praying side by side, aren't we likely to notice those who are distressed, the disabled, those whose faces are starving and more? When that happens, the inner instinct that God has equipped us with will not allow us to look away and ignore our brothers and sisters in need of our help, be it material, emotional, or other forms of support.

And in giving, especially of wealth, it cleanses our hearts of greed and avarice, of pride and all other diseases of the heart, making it easier to see our own status vis-a-vis God and developing our sense of God-consciousness. So the symbiosis of the relation between us and Allah and the relationship between us and our fellow human being is thus captured in the essence of congregational prayer. Symbolically, at the end of the prayer where we have been communing with God, glorifying Him, asking Him for help, and gaining inner peace from the prayer, we turn to our right and give the greeting of peace to our brother or sister there and similarly on our left. That the peace we obtain from Him is being spread to the whole community.

There are of course other dimensions to the benefits of congregational prayer which are not covered here but can be found within various books and on the internet.

Wallahu'alam.

Goodbye to Ramadhan

2010-09-09T04:43:00.002+01:00

I waited with baited breath and anticipation for Your arrival, O Blessed One.
For an Honoured Guest, my house I tried to clean and prepare.
I didn't realise the enormity of gathered dust and cobwebs crisscrossing the Opening of the Room.
It shamed me to say that but for Your arrival the Room would have been ignored, Empty.

You came, like a breath of fresh air, and the Room came to life with Your Presence.
As Your host, I tried to be as gracious as I can be.
Still I know I have not been the most generous and gracious of Hosts.
Outside distractions pulling my attention away from You, O Honourable One.
Would You still come to visit me again next year, I wonder?

Now You are leaving, O Dearest One.
Just when I have learnt to appreciate Your Presence.
I worry that without Your Presence the Room will once again fall to silence, lifeless.
But, by God the Creator of You and me, I will try my best to fend off the threat.
The Threat of gathering dust and cobwebs on the Opening of the Room.
All in anticipation for Your return...I hope we will meet again, O Beloved One.

Kilmartin in the summer, part 2.

2010-09-08T21:25:00.003+01:00

I was hoping to have written about the second part of my trip long before now, but Ramadhan and other demands on my time has diverted my attention and resources. Tonight, as I sit alone in my room, waiting for Isya prayer on the last night of Ramadhan, I thought I should finish writing.

Wednesday was wonderful. After spending time at Bellanoch, Chris drove us to the 'beach' where we sat watching the clouds gathering, a man and his dog fishing, a couple hunting for clams or something similar, and a woman braving the cold waters to swim. As with Bellanoch, the sense of peace pervades. Ending the day with a trip to a Bangladeshi restaurant for dinner, the day was as perfect as it could be.

Thursday, we woke up to another lovely day and Chris suggested we visit Inverarray Castle, the family seat of the Duke of Argyll. While I've visited the castle before, this time, they just opened part of the gardens to visitors. As a final treat, we actually spotted the Duke himself as he served behind the counter in the souvenir shop within the Castle. On the way back, we stopped just outside of Port Ann where Chris and I took a walk down to the water's edge, leaving Jenni in the car to read. A twenty minute walk stretched to an hour when we spotted some interesting water birds. I was glad Chris was there to tell me what the various birds were. Home-made pizza with toppings out of left over chicken and a spot of Big Bang Theory mellowed us considerably, after which we trooped down to Kilmartin Church for a spot of bat watching. That was exciting as Chris had a bat 'translator' with her. It basically made the bats' calls audible to the human ear. We actually spotted at least 3 or 4 pipinstrelle and heard their calls. Wished we could stay longer but the midges were getting to us.

Friday was quite miserable, as the rains continued pouring all morning. Luckily, we left the Kilmartin flower exhibition to the last and so instead of driving out, we just trooped down to the church again to view the various flower arrangements. The exhibition, with the theme of Thanks and Praise, showcased the talents of Kilmartin residents, which was considerable. After the rain subsided in the afternoon, Chris brought us to her favourite spot near Tayvallich where we basically enjoyed the sound of the waves and gazed out into the Atlantic Ocean. Last thing we did that day was to say hi and goodbye to the standing stones near Kilmartin. These were the same ones I saw when I visited Chris earlier this year but the lack of snow really made a difference to the atmostphere surround the stones.

On Saturday, a full week after we arrived, Jenni and I headed back to 'civilization' leaving behind a wonderful, exciting, yet restful experience. I really hope I'll have a chance to visit Chris and Kilmartin again.

End of Ramadhan and Solitude

2010-09-08T18:23:00.009+01:00

Ramadhan is almost over and Eid Al-Fitr is dawning. The time flies but hopefully what we learnt and gained this Ramadhan stays with us.

I was feeling rather sad that the last ten days draws to a close and the window of opportunity to be in solitude with the Creator and Sustainer within the Night of Power is once again gone. At least till next Ramadhan, if Allah permits me to meet it.

One of the pleasures of Ramadhan that I've discovered or rediscovered recently is the personal communication with Him in the depth of the night. I struggle to wake up for an hour or two before the dawn prayer to eat, pray and read the Quran. The interrupted sleep does get to me but there is a peace that pervades without the cacophony of daily noises that is rewarding in itself. One of the resolve I have (if I can sustain it) is to continue this action at least a few times a week.

As I mentioned, I was feeling rather sad and then saw a friend posting a link to the following article this afternoon.
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/
It is about how solitude is an essential part of leadership and that being in solitude nurtures the leadership in us. The author defines leadership as:
'the idea that true leadership means being able to think for yourself and act on your convictions.'
and so the ability to think forourselves is aided by solitude which he defines as :

1. Concentration - gathering yourself together into a single point rather than letting yourself be dispersed everywhere into a cloud of electronic and social input. That is, not to be distracted by others.
He said:
'I find for myself that my first thought is never my best thought. My first thought is always someone else’s; it’s always what I’ve already heard about the subject, always the conventional wisdom. It’s only by concentrating, sticking to the question, being patient, letting all the parts of my mind come into play, that I arrive at an original idea. By giving my brain a chance to make associations, draw connections, take me by surprise. And often even that idea doesn’t turn out to be very good. I need time to think about it, too, to make mistakes and recognize them, to make false starts and correct them, to outlast my impulses, to defeat my desire to declare the job done and move on to the next thing.'

2. Solitory work - doing something on your own like building something, writing, reading.

3. Introspection

4. Friendship - the deep friendship of intimate conversation. Long, uninterrupted talk with one other person.
He said:
'Introspection means talking to yourself, and one of the best ways of talking to yourself is by talking to another person. One other person you can trust, one other person to whom you can unfold your soul. One other person you feel safe enough with to allow you to acknowledge things—to acknowledge things to yourself—that you otherwise can’t. Doubts you aren’t supposed to have, questions you aren’t supposed to ask. Feelings or opinions that would get you laughed at by the group or reprimanded by the authorities.'

After reading it, I was struck by the following thought:
- Were the tahajud (night) prayers and the activities such as reading the Qur'an in the depth of the nights encouraged during Ramadhan not devised to fulfill those definitions of solitude?
- Who could be a better Friend that we can trust and unfold our souls other than Him?
- As Islam states that everyone is a 'khalifa' (leader/appointed deputy of Allah on Earth), a training regime is necessary to develop the leadership skills, thus the encouragement to wake up part of the night to devote oneself in prayer.
- Similarly, taking time away from the busy lifestyle to pray five times a day allows one to gather oneself 'into a single point' as the author describes it, away from the cacophony of other thoughts, voices, etc.

Thus, I think I gain a new perspective on the dimensions of Salah and night prayer.

Photos from Kilmartin

2010-08-22T21:15:00.007+01:00

Bellanoch Viewpoint: the various views from the viewpoint.

Arduaine Garden: just some of wonders I managed to photograph

Ardmaddy Castle Gardens: the cabbage reminds me of the Little Shop of Horrors and the tayberries are just scrumptous.

Kilmartin in the summer, part 1.

2010-08-22T16:46:00.014+01:00

Kilmartin, on the Scottish West Coast, is home to ancient standing stones, burial cairnes, Scottish kings of yore, thousands of species of plants and animals, and also to Chris Carr, a talented fanfic writer and artist.

Jenni Debbage, another talented fanfic writer, and I were invited to stay for a week with her (just this past week) and I jumped at the chance. A mini FOLC fest, right enough, though with a less emphasis on LnC. I drove through Dundee to pick Jenni up last Saturday and we made our way across the highlands from the east coast to the west coast, stopping by a loch for Jenni to have tea and me to stretch my legs.

By the time we reached Chris's, it was fairly late and we just basically chilled out. They were so sweet to wait with me till it was time for sunset and we could sit down to dinner. I don't think they understood how much I appreciated their actions for they didn't have to do that. Because of the long drive, Jenni and I were tired and slept early.

By the next morning, the sun was shining and the day began gloriously. You cannot appreciate how fresh the air is out there unless you're from the city. So, with a gloriously sunny day, fresh air, and an art event in Argyll (http://www.artmapargyll.com/index.html) that day, we went to immerse ourselves in art. The first to be visited was Fraser MacIver (http://www.frasermaciver.com/), a real character. He lives along the Crinan Canal in a wagon, without all the creature comforts we take for granted. While we were there, I was fascinated by this painting he had of different planets. I really wished I had the money but for a hundred quid, it was out of my price range. Anyway, he showed us how he printed some of the smaller prints.

By the time we finished at his place, we walked back to Crinan Hotel where Chris parked the car. After Chris and Jenni had lunch, we checked out two more artists who were showing in the hotel. From there, we went up to visit another artist who was showing near Tayvallich. What was great was that his hosts were artists themselves and the wife's work is mainly in posters for Shakespear's plays. Impressive collection and Jenni fell in love with a Richard III poster which included a sweet horse and a fallen crown in black and white with a splash of red for the rubies.

Our last stop of the day was at Kilmichael Glassary where Louise Oppenheimer a weaver was showing her work and sharing her workshop space with Melanie Chmielewska, a scuplture. Both of them really impressed me with their works and patience. Louise does not use any loom but painstakingly weave the threads together from a frame. Melanie whose sculptures take my breath away works with stone and uses the simplest tools of chisel and hammer to create sculptures which felt soft and alive. I have a feeling that Chris will one day commission a work from her. The first day ended with a lovely dinner and cakes that Jenni brought.

The next day turned out to be opposite of Sunday, with overcast skies and frequent showers. Since Chris needed to visit the doctor in the hospital, we decided to go into Lochgilphead and visit a few more artists while waiting for her appointment. I was impressed with the glass work of Kirsty Brady. Then, while waiting for Chris, I took a stroll into the woodlands near the hospital and found some interesting stuff to photograph. I think one of the reasons why I enjoyed this visit is the great combination of walks and photography.

Tuesday was again another beautiful day though it started out with a bit of rain. Chris and Jenni decided to take me to see the gardens of Arduaine and Ardmaddy that day. Arduaine Garden (http://www.arduaine-garden.org.uk/) is spectacular; artfully wild, which I think was what they were aiming for. We met the head gardener on our way in and had a pleasant chat with him. Had some lovely photographs of various flowers and plants as well as scenic photographs of the west coast isles from various viewpoints. I really hope that they manage to save this lovely garden from closing. Ardmaddy Garden is definitely different from Arduaine. Ardmaddy is part of a castle and has formal and woodland gardens. However, even its woodland garden is not as rugged as Arduaine.

Wednesday, we stuck closer to Kilmartin, choosing to go see what the beavers, reintroduced back into the Knapdale forest last year, have been up to. Chris told us that they had their first young, born in the wild earlier this year and have already been damming up part of the forest. With Isabel, Chris's neighbour joining us, we headed out to the forest to see some of their handywork. While we didn't get to see the beavers themselves, their handywork is pretty impressive. They had gnawed through more trees than I expected, and the area was thoroughly flooded by the dam they built. The water was pretty deep at some places. I wonder if the partially submerged trees would ultimately die.

After that, we walked up to Bellanoch viewpoint. The walk was definitely worth it just for the breathtaking view of Loch Crinan and the River Add Estuary. And on this beautiful Wednesday, we were blessed with clear blue sky that allowed us to see the Isle of Mull. There is a sense of peace as the four of us sat down on the benches and gazed at the meandering river. If ever I wished I was a painter, this was it. No wonder Fraser painted it and Isabel is working on a drawing of it. The landscape inspires people to reach their innermost souls for that creative instinct. The photos I took can't do it justice.

Ramadhan is nearly here

2010-08-06T20:57:00.002+01:00

Once again, Ramadhan is coming around. I pray that this Ramadhan would be a fruitful one for me. Funnily enough, this Ramadhan I will be travelling just as I travelled last year (to Munich) and the year before (to come to Edinburgh). Actually I think it is a kind of tradition for me to travel during Ramadhan for many years now. But insya Allah, I will try not fail in observing Ramadhan this year...

Poem: God's Gift

2010-04-15T00:07:00.002+01:00

Sunrise and sunset,
time is a gift
that one rarely appreciates
until it is too late.

No service is done
by our headlong rush,
For God's gift of beauty
shall we likely miss.

Every breath is a gift,
A gift of life, of moments,
For who knows
when the journey's end.

Looking without,
searching within,
To seek the Truth,
A precious gift
for those with understanding.

The ultimate prize,
so illusive is it,
that rarely we attain,
God's gift of peace.

To my dearest grandmother,

2010-03-15T15:39:00.002Z

You're meeting Allah today after being with us for so long...a gift from Him to those who know you. I wish I was there with you, but Mak Ngah said that you died peacefully in your sleep. I guess to a certain extend I would rather remember you as the grandmother of my youth.

I never got to tell you how I appreciate the love you gave us, even though we weren't of your blood. I remember the times when you would help Mom look after my siblings when they were born, and I'm sure you did the same for me. You were there for us during our growing up years and when we had to go through the painful time of losing Mom. You looked on with pride when I graduated and gave sound advice whenever I visited you.

I know you missed Mom so much that it triggered the early onset of alzheimers for you. But for all that, I know somewhere in you, you still remembered her and us. So, on this day, I thank God for you and ask Him to extend his Mercy, Love, Forgiveness to you.

Your eldest grandchild.

The Ka'abah

2010-03-03T03:34:00.002Z

A few years ago, I had the privilege of being called upon to visit the House of Allah in a small pilgrimage (the umrah). In that visit, once I sat in front of the Ka'abah and spoke to it, the essence of which is encapsulated by the poem of Ibn 'Arabi:

"Oh Ka'ba of God, oh Zamzam, how strongly you demand my friendship, but no, no!
If I must get involved in a friendship with you, it is through compassion and not desire towards you.
The Ka'ba is nothing other than our essence, the essence of curtains of pious fear.
The True One is not contained by sky nor earth nor any word.
He appeared to the heart and said to it: Be patient! For it is the Qibla established by Us.
From Us to you and to your heart, towards the encounter with My house; how magnificent it is.
It is a duty for Our Ka'ba to love you and to love Us is a duty for you.
Enough!"

And I wonder if I had offended It by my questioning of its importance. So when I read Ibn Arabi's dialogue with the Ka'abah through the various poems he wrote on it, it called to me. So here are some of the poems of the wise teacher based on his "Love Letters to the Ka'abah."

"My heart took refuge in the sanctuary when it was struck by the arrows of the enemy.
Oh, clemency of God towards his servants, God placed you among the minerals.
Oh, House of my Lord, light of my heart, freshness of my eye, intimate friend of my heart.
Oh, heart's secret of true existence, oh my inviolability, purity of my love.
Oh, Qibla towards which I have turned each time I have camped, in each valley,
Of permanence, then of heaven; of extinction and of the cradle.
Oh, Ka'ba of God, oh my life, path to happiness and justice,
You are God's depository of the only safeguard against the terror of the final return.
The noble Station shines brightly in you, in you resides the servants' happiness.
In you is the Right Hand which my mistake has covered with a black mark.
In the place where we attach ourselves to you, he who perseveres with his amorous passion will know happiness on the Day when we are called.
Souls have died because of their desire for it (the Ka'ba), through the pains of longing and exile.
Because of its affliction for them it donned a mourning blanket.
God makes a light shine on its summit, which shines on the heart.
Only the afflicted whose eyes have suffered the Kohl of insomnia can perceive it.
It turns, seven after seven, after the fall of night to reply to the call.
It weeps endless tears, received in token by its passion, without weakening.
I heard it call out to the Stone for help: oh heart of mine!
The night quickly passed but my amorous passion was not appeased. "

And even more beautiful:

"My Ka'ba here before us is the heart of existence And My Throne is, for this heart, a limited body. My House, the one who contains Me, is your heart which I am watching, Deposited in your body, through which I bear witness."

Here, Ibn Arabi likens the Ka'abah to the heart of existence and links it to our own hearts which are also receptacles of Allah's divine presence/love as stated in the hadith: "Neither My sky nor My earth contain me; only the heart of my believing servant contains me."

The beauty and the honour of the Ka'abah is then apparent; as the sanctuary of our hearts. Perhaps, even the one through which Allah unites the hearts of the believers...the Heart of hearts. So, a Being of stones, minerals, and motar, whose "Noble Station" shines brightly, links with us through the connection of the hearts and of love of the Creator who created both Houses.

I hope that in this I shall not make the same mistake if the Ka'abah beckons again and the invitation is issued.

Winter Wonderland

2009-12-22T21:27:00.001Z

It has been snowing on and off for the past week but only last night that Edinburgh really turned into a winter wonderland. The snow storm last night painted the ground, roofs, and cars white.

Subhanallah, it is a breathtaking sight and down my street, I see the kids (and adults) finally coming out to make snowmen. But I'm glad I am inside, away from the cold. I'll venture out later to take some photos of my street and Arthur's seat. Meanwhile I am grateful to Allah for this chance to experience a white Christmas, even if I don't celebrate Christmas.

Munich Trip in the middle of August

2009-11-13T13:53:00.002Z

Went to Munich with my friend Nicole before she left for home in August and here are some of the pictures we took of the beautiful city.

A guide for the blind

The 1972 Olympics commemorated in the new town house.

Trevor, our New Munich guide, giving us an explanation for the "royal" residence of the Bavarian kings.

The open market - really busy little place...I enjoyed it as I sipped my iced mocca across the street with Nicole.

Munich was the birthplace of the Nazi and yet more than half a century after the WWII, here is a synagogue once again...I admire the Jews for their determination to triumph against all odds.

One of the more "overt" dedication to the holocaust (Munich is definitely the soul of discretion in this matter).

A river running through the city.

The new city hall by day and by night.

From the top of the city hall, you can see this church which was rumoured to have been built by the devil.

One of the towers of the church.

Nicole, wondering why I'm snapping a picture of her. Anyway, we were waiting for the train to take us to the airport on our way back to Edinburgh....I definitely enjoyed my trip very much. Thanks, Nicole, for the memories.

Weather turning

2009-11-09T22:53:00.003Z

Not only has the day begin to darken earlier, the weather has turned. This morning I woke up only to find the ground covered with frost. The temperature has dipped to below zero overnight. While the sun was shining, the day was still chilly. Winter is almost here.

Eid Photos

2009-10-03T17:25:00.006+01:00

I'm back in Edinburgh and finally managed to download the pictures I took for Eid onto my laptop. Here are some:

My first night back and my first introduction to my youngest nephew, Ilex.

Eidul-Fitr - my whole family is finally together.

My siblings - Zikri & War Wat match while Isniati matches the curtains...hehehe, just joking.

Linda's daughter teaching Ian about fishes - he is clearly fascinated.

First cousins, once removed, but both around the same age.

The oldies, relaxing and enjoying themselves.

My dad with Kieran, my cousin's son.

Ilex is clearly not afraid of people - he has just met Shariffa for the first time and yet he's letting her carry him.

My late mother's family visiting us during the open house.

My godchildren, Umar and Fatima, are enjoying stacking up the big "cups" as they dubbed the stools.

A bit over-exposed but the only shot of all four kids.

War War's family enjoying my mom's cooking.

I love his eyes!!

He looks as if he's much older than 3 months old.

What are you doing, Auntie Sid? ...at least, that's what I think he's thinking. I'm going to miss him and his brother.

Back home & Eid Mubarak

2009-09-19T10:05:00.000+01:00

Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim friends! It is lovely to spend Eid at home with my family and friends. But I also miss my friends from Edinburgh, though most of them are back home too, and hope that they have a lovely Eid as well.

Will write more soon but for now, I can smell the spices from my mom's cooking as she's preparing all the traditional dishes for tomorrow's Eid. I'll have to follow my nose...

Looking forward to ...

2009-09-12T21:43:00.002+01:00

going home. By this time Tuesday, I will be back in Singapore, to spend Eid with the family. I'll be meeting Ilex for the first time too. I've to thank my dad for this wonderful gift.

Second Ramadhan in Edinburgh

2009-09-04T20:33:00.002+01:00

Today is the middle of Ramadhan and this is my second Ramadhan here. The difference between this Ramadhan and last year's is stark. Perhaps, last Ramadhan, the excitement of starting a new course and making new friends made it seemed less lonely. On the other hand, because of the course and adjustment period, I couldn't really concentrate on the worship aspects of Ramadhan.

This Ramadhan, it feels different. First, I have the time to sit and read the Qur'an as well as do my night prayers without worrying what time I have to get up the next day. However, it is a sad time too. I miss my family and friends, including those who had just gone home. This Ramadhan is turning out to be a lonely one. I guess that makes it easier to concentrate on the spiritual aspect of Ramadhan.

Whatever it is, I pray that this Ramadhan brings blessings to all Muslims.

Finally over

2009-08-19T20:17:00.003+01:00

Thanks be to Him, I've managed to finish my dissertation last Friday and am now officially jobless. To counter this, I am taking a two pronged approach - firstly, work on finding a job and second, build up my publication record. From my dissertation, God willing, I think (and my supervisor agrees) that I can produce a paper with slightly different emphasis.

Even though intellectually I know He will provide, there is a part of me that is worried that I will not be able to find one. Especially when my first salvo comes up negative. Hopefully the coming Ramadhan will cheer me up and boost my morale again. Still I miss my family, especially not being able to be there for the first few months of my new nephew.

I pray that everything will go well. Ameen.

Alnwick (Harry Potter) Castle - for Umar, Fatima, and Imran

2009-08-09T10:02:00.007+01:00

Salams, Umar, Fatima, Imran,

Your Ami mentioned you kids were getting a bit potty with the new Harry Potter movie. So, since I went to visit the castle where they filmed the movie and previous movies before the latest one, I made a short video for you.

Hope you enjoy.
Auntie Sid

An experiment on making a video

2009-08-08T23:42:00.007+01:00

Given that I was a bit frustrated in terms of writing the final paragraph, I thought I'd try out something new - using my various pictures and combining them into a video. It is a bit rough but here's the result of my attempt. It is basically various views of Glencoe, one of the beautiful glens in the Highlands. So, enjoy. :)

Duddingston Loch

2009-07-19T18:15:00.002+01:00

This is the loch near my flat - went there on a cloudy day and got this shot of the water's reflection.

As summer progresses, one notices the wild flowers taking turns to bloom every month. Here's one for the month of July.

And then there is the fireweed or rosebay willowherb - they grow in such quantities that the fields are awash with this soft purple flower.

Of course, this is Scotland and the sight of her national flower, the thistle, is a reminder of the wild beauty and prickly nature of the land.

Trying out my new lens

2009-07-18T16:04:00.004+01:00

Bought a new lens for my camera a few days ago - a 75 - 300 mm/f4.5-5.6 and so I had to try out the combination of both lenses on yesterday's trip to Falkland Palace and St Andrews.

Below are selections of the photos I took.

Because the day was rainy and the sky was overcast, I tried playing with B&W shots. Got this picture of one of the seabirds gliding on the winds of St Andrews.

Not sure what flower this is but I found its purple and yellow alluring.

This flower is not quite in focus - again, I don't know its name but I found it in the greenhouse of Falkland Palace.

The Falkland village is quite picturesque with flowers everywhere. Here's a clump outside the kirk.

Again, in Falkland Palace gardens, the raindrops were caught on the soft petals.

This seagull was flying overhead in St Andrews Castle.

This bird's beak is quite unique - it was hovering at eye level. I wished the rain marks on the lens didn't mar the photo.

Caught this one as it soared above the sea of St Andrews. A bit blurry but I like the feel of motion.

Falkland Palace as seen from the rose garden.

Ah, the rose...the sparkling red roses.

A rare warm summer day in Scotland

2009-07-16T10:23:00.004+01:00

While summer is here, most of the time, there will be intermitten showers. This day, in late June, was one of those rare summer days where the sun was out throughout the day. Being on campus that day, I decided to enjoy the sun with Alexia (top picture) and Nicole (bottom picture).

Review - Desperately Seeking Paradise (Part 1)

2009-06-23T19:38:00.004+01:00

This is the first part of a series of "review" on Ziauddin Sardar's book "Desperately Seeking Paradise." It is not going to be a sequential review but more of the parts which resonate with me.

This first part is on the chapter called "the Inquiry Years" where he talked about Al-Faruqi's idea on Islamization of knowledge and his opposition towards it. While the years he described were in the 80s, I do remember that such ideas were still big in the 90s when my friends and I were active in the Muslim Society on campus. The Muslim intellectuals, similar to those described by Sardar, were almost obsessed with the need to Islamize knowledge. I think I still have the book by Al-Faruqi that was quoted in Sardar's book. Now, I wonder what happened to this movement - have it been abandoned? Where did the energy and effort go to? Perhaps it is still there but now, things seemed to be hijacked by the issue of terrorism and extremism; the need for "moderate" Muslim voices.

Coming back to the book, I like how Sardar argues against Islamization of Knowledge. In his "discussion" with Al-Faruqi, he mentioned in the book:

"we must Islamize the disciplines...establish the specific relevance of Islam to each area...Al-Faruqi picked up the knife and fork lying in front of him..."Think of them as a discipline...Now in the West....People eat with their left hands...we Muslims eat with our right hands. So all we have to do is to switch....Certain disciplines would require that kind of transformation."

I was dumbfounded..."Forks and knives emerge out of a particular context....part and parcel of a certain etiquette of eating...disciplines are not, as you seem to think, made in heaven, they are not a priori given...Disciplines are born within the matrix of a particular worldview and are always hierarchically subordinated to that worldview...Islamizing disciplines already infused with a materialistic metaphysics and western, secularist ethics is tantamount to a cosmetic epistemological face-lift."

His description of his group's (the Ijmalis) idea to knowledge echoes within me - emphasizing on ethics and interconnectedness. That the pursuit of knowledge is a form of worship and that it must be pursued in the promotion of values that enhances the Muslim society and culture amongst others. These were some of the topics of discussions between my friends and I, if I recalled correctly. I believe the LKI 2 topics (part of FMSA leadership training) that we worked on in the late 1990s were geared towards this idea that the Ijmalis were promoting. That is the reason why I think I enjoyed this section of his book. If only the LKI 2 seminar series could have continued.

In my own experiences, having been a scholar and also a teacher, it is difficult to Islamize knowledge as propound by al-Faruqi. As Sardar mentioned, such effort only lent to a "cosmetic face-lift" especially in the subjects I was specializing in. However, Sardar's idea if ethics and promotion of values within the subject is quite reachable. For example, while I couldn't, for the life of me, think of how I could Islamize Operations Research (Optimization), I could utilize it in beneficial applications that would serve the society better, thus exercising the connectedness between knowledge and the Quranic value of public interest. I do hope that the younger generations of Muslims will build upon what the Muslim intellectuals of the past have started, especially in this challenging times. We truly need fresh ideas in creating a new worldview that is not defined by terrorism or extremism. Perhaps there are new works out there already...if so, that is very good and hopefully I will get to learn more. If not, then as Muslims, it is our duty to once again revive these Islamic intellectual works.

Another thing about this book is the funny yet almost brutally honest way Sardar has written it, an autobiography of his life so far. His description of people make most into caricatures (almost) and that makes the book easy to read while dealing with some pretty heavy issues such as discussed above. Next time, I'll touch on another topic that he brought up in his book, Insya Allah. Till then.

New Nephew

2009-06-16T14:18:00.002+01:00

It's been 11 days since my newest family member arrive. Ilex Itsham Kusuma, my sister's second born son. My prayer is that he would grow to be a strong Muslim, a joy to his parents, family and community.

Updates

2009-06-12T09:56:00.000+01:00

Duddingston Park South, my new digs. We moved on 22/05/2009 and will be here for the next six months or so. Can I say that it is home-sweet-home? Well, to a certain extent, it is definitely more of a home than Caddon was. The four of us, Mauricio, Rocio, William and I, are enjoying our time at the flat even though the first few days were a challenge; we had to figure out how to turn on the gas and electricity. Then, there is the fact that the flat wasn't cleaned when we first moved plus we had to get our own furnitures...the first few days were a nightmare.

To illustrate, the picture below was taken right after we cleaned the flat and unpacked all our stuff. It took us a week to actually recover from the move. Of course, there was the flooding of our kitchen due to the washing machine. Sigh.

(Will is the one on the floor)

Anyway, now that we've settled in, we've been experimenting with food - Mexican, Taiwanese, and Singaporean dishes plus some other types of Western style. We've also been exploring round the neighbourhood. It's a great location, if a wee bit far from Heriot Watt. Five minutes to the East is Fort Kinaid which is this big shopping area with lots of brand name retailers. Then 10 minutes NorthEast is ASDA, a giant supermart, good for cheap food and items. 10 minutes to the West is Lidl, a another supermart. So, shopping is not a problem.

What excites me most is the easy reach of some beautiful places - Portobello beach (okay, it's not white sandy beaches, but it has a charm of its own), Duddingston Loch at the foot of the hills of Holyrood Park, Craigmillar Castle (I've yet to explore) and more. So, I think we managed to get a good place.

Now, all that remains is to work on my dissertation (and get a job).

Animals of Heriot Watt

2009-06-10T13:16:00.002+01:00

These are some of the animals that can be found at Heriot Watt; the first two photos were captured by my friend, Nicole, recently on her walks across HW. Enjoy.

Trip to the East Coast of Scotland and England

2009-06-10T09:30:00.000+01:00

Sorry for this very long delay but having moved to a new flat roughly three weeks ago, I've been deprived of the internet for quite some time and then there is my dissertation proposal to be crafted out. Well, this morning, I am taking a short break from it to recount some of the adventures I've had.

Saturday, 16th May, was a good day. We were finally free of all the exams, and were on our way to enjoy the east coast of Scotland and England. Our first stop was Holy Isle...as you can see, the ten of us were bundled up nicely for the day was quite cold. From the right (back): Chen Jia, Shuyuan, Yi Xing, William, Rocio, Mauricio. From the left (front): Amy, me, Alexi, Nicole, Etienne.

The isle was a religious centre of the kingdom of Northumberia once upon a time and the celtic influence is visible as seen by the Celtic cross below.

Next stop was Bamburgh castle, which is now situated in England. In the early days, it was the centre of Northumbria.

This was the first sight of the castle which is situated along the coast. The beautiful golden carpet seemed to beckon us towards the castle, a welcoming sign.

In the old days, the coast along Bamburgh saw many shipwrecks and so a tradition of knights on horses patrolling the shore in storms were born. While there are no knights today, the tradition of riding/galloping horses along the shore still continues.

Bamburgh castle as seen from the moorland bordering the castle and the shore. I like the silhoutte of the castle against the sky.

Fresh from our adventure in Northern England, we went back into Scotland and ventured to a remarkable landscape where a bird colony awaits. St. Abbs Head, Berwickshire, Scottish Borders. Below is just one of its many cliffs, a dramatic coastline so different from the gentle beaches of Bamburgh, only an hour or so away.

There we were, after braving the rain and the winds, walking along the edge of the cliffs at some point along the trail. We finally reached the bird colony behind us where hundreds, if not thousands of sea birds were nesting and breeding.

Fiona, our guide, told us that some of these species might be in danger as their food source near these traditional breeding grounds are running scarce.

On our way back, we took a different route and saw this lochen within this valley that I found charming.

All in all, it was a lovely trip where we could decompress and refresh ourselves.

Feeling maudlin

2009-05-08T00:32:00.003+01:00

Tomorrow is my second to last exams and I should be asleep. However I've been feeling maudlin for the last couple of days. Mother's day is coming and I miss my father. Why should I miss my father on Mother's day? Mother's day to me means thinking about my mother's passing and makes me conscious of time. Time in a sandglass - each passing moment is a grain lost. Time that brings all of us closer to death. Precious time in which I am not there for the one person whose influence in my life cannot be measured. My teacher, mentor, rock, shelter in the storm of life, sparring partner, role model, and so much more - my father.

So this Mother's day, I dedicate it to my father.

God's grace

2009-04-20T11:13:00.001+01:00

"Seest thou not that God sends down rain from the sky, and leads it through springs in the earth? Then He causes to grow, therewith, produce of various colours: then it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then He makes it dry up and crumble away. Truly, in this, is a Message of remembrance to Men of understanding." 39:21

These last few weeks, I have been quite focused on the exams that I had no inspiration to write about something so dear to me - the beauty of God's creation. I thank God for allowing me to be in Scotland, and more than that, being in the "farming" area.

Within Heriot Watt campus, I can see for myself the seasons' effects on nature. As I walked today, I noticed this duck with her ten little ducklings swimming along in a little pond behind the library. I also noticed the three swanlings are gone and it seems that the female swan is sitting on a new brood. The bare trees have started to grow green again and some are blooming. Wild garlic and daffodils are abound. Life is returning from the dead of winter.

This is something not experienced by those living in the tropics where there is no seasonal effect, especially those living in the city. While I experienced it to a lesser degree before, I think being out of the city drives the lesson home as the contrast is more stark. It drives home what God said in the Qur'an regarding the renewal of life and how it is a message for us...

Trip to Skye

2009-04-06T22:37:00.014+01:00

It's been ages since I've wrote in this blog. Well, things have been very hectic for the past month with all the projects and assignments. But lessons ended last week and we are having our Easter break before the exams. To take a break before settling to study for the exams, I decided to go for a trip to Skye with the Chaplaincy...I thank my friend Dayang for her recommendation of the island before I left Singapore. The trip was definitely worth every penny for it combined all the things I really loved...history, mountains, water, walking, photography and most of all, good company.

We started out on Friday afternoon, 3 pm, from Heriot Watt and one of our first stops was somewhere I've been before - Glencoe. But what a different Glencoe it is...with the sun shining and the warm (well relative to the freezing rain before) weather, the red deers were frolicking in the glen.

Of course, I couldn't resist to snap some photos of the place, especially with the sun in the background. I like the effect it made.

We then went to Fort William where we had some fish and chips before heading on to Skye. The beautiful weather held up and the longer day made it possible for us to enjoy the scenery as we passed by the Five Sisters (a mountain range) which still have some snow on their peaks. However, by the time we arrived on Skye, in the village of Uig, it was too dark to see anything.

So, we settled down and rested in preparation for the next day. Unfortunately, the day dawned, bringing the rain with it. So, for most of the morning, we were exposed to the rain. Below is an example of how difficult it was to take pictures in the rain - my lenses were misty and dotted with raindrops. But I tried to take this picture of the river that originated from the Cuilins (a mountain range on Skye).

Rocio, my classmate, and I posed below...you can see the Cuillins behind us. Rev Allister's wife, Nickie, mentioned that this area was great for walks. Luckily though we didn't manage to go for a walk here since I don't think anyone fancied walking in the rain.

We also visited Port Righ (Portree), the capital of Skye. It was actually quite small with less than four blocks of main street. Next, Fiona, our guide (and a really lovely lady who volunteers her time arranging the whole trip for us), brought us to Old Man Storr and his wee lady. They are basically these two stone pinnacles, remnants of ancient volcanic plugs. We didn't go up there but visited a nearby waterfall as shown below. One thing good about the rain is that there's enough water in the waterfall for a great picture.

We also visited the Kilt Rock Waterfall which I've decided I wouldn't upload a picture here but it was really impressive. Anyway, as we make our way up the Trotternish Peninsular to Quiraing, the rain gradually stopped though the sun was still playing hide and seek. The Quiraing is spectacular landslip on the eastern face of Meall na Suiramach, the northernmost summit of the Trotternish Ridge and is about 543 m high.

As Peter, Fiona's busband, took this picture of the group for us, we were standing at about 350 m above sea level at a guess. We still had a bit more to climb before we arrive at the "Prison", a pyramidal rocky peak which look like a medieval keep.

That's Rev Allister, Tim, and me (from the left) as we pose with the Quirang in the background.

Peter is in green and in the middle of the picture, Rocio in yellow and Mauricio, my other classmate, is beside her as we climbed up to the shoulder between the Prison and the Needle. You can definitely identify which of these rock structure is the Needle.

Here is where we part ways with most of the team going up to the Needle and beyond while the rest of us, for reasons of our own, decided to stay at the current level and circled the Quiraing. Below is the small team of us who decided to go for the "low" walk. It was still a great walk and we actually found this wee lochen (small lake) to rest and admire the scenery.

As we made our way back down, the sun finally decided to show itself, and the land was transformed. God's grace made it possible for us to view the various contrasting forms of the land and we were amazed.

After the Quiraing, we went further up to visit a ruin castle owned by the McDonald clan. Such a sad story, it was, of why they abandoned the castle - a tragic death of a child, the heir to the McDonald chief. Nearby, as in almost everywhere in Skye, there are some crofts and here, I saw this really woolly sheep. Couldn't resist...

That's the castle.

Finally, after a long day, we arrive back at our hostel. Guess what time it is from the picture?

Did you guess, correctly? Hmmm....well, it was 8 pm, actually. And the sun was setting in the bay in front of the hostel.

The next day we said goodbye to Skye as we walked along the bridge below connecting Caol Loch Aillse (pronounced as Kyle Lochalsh), a small town on the mainland to Skye. The yellow flowers are gorse, a native vegetation in these parts. A surprise awaited me when Peter suggested we smell the flowers...it brings back memory of home - the smell of freshly grated coconut. Whatdyaknow...God's way of sharing the beauty of His creations with us that in this far away land where coconut was once a strange plant, it shared the same smell.

Slipping away from Skye, we headed towards what must be the most photographed castle in Scotland...Eilean Donan Castle.

We were entertained by the guides within the castle with its history and the history of Scotland.

Above is one of the views of one of the three sea lochs surrounding Eilean Donan. And on the other side of the castle, the daffodils are blooming.

As time passes, we had to leave the enchanting castle for another historic but more ruined castle along Loch Ness. There I was resting and trying to see if I could spot Nessie. Unfortunately, there was narry a shadow.

At last, we were heading back to Heriot Watt, passing through Aviemore and we spotted snow still clinging to the mountain tops.

We got back about 8 pm (dusk) and I was happy to see my bed. Still, it was a great trip.

With hardship, comes ease

2009-02-26T02:24:00.002Z

Tonight, my mind and soul feel so weary; a burden of the mind and the spirit that makes me seek solace in God's words:

"With every hardship, comes ease. Verily, with hardship comes ease." (Chapter 94; verses 5-6)

This refrain, echoed twice, stress upon the sometimes "hidden" blessings within a given burden or hardship. In the ordinary words of mortals, "In every dark cloud, there is a silver lining." Sometimes, we are too weary, too burnt out, too depressed to see that "ease", that silver lining. After all, when surrounded by darkness, it is not easy to "see." Usually, we understand the "ease" afterwards and therefore make the mistake that the ease comes after hardship. But note the stress in the refrain of the word "with" which indicates that the ease comes hand-in-hand with the hardship. (Once again, the duality that I was discussing in an earlier note kicks in.)

The Mercy of God is that He does not give us the hardship without providing its relief at the same time.There are so many examples in my life of these incidents of hardship and ease going hand in hand. But the most recent is the really lovely friends I had like Bahar, Nicole, and Rocio who helped me last week when I was struck by a strong migraine. Yet it is not always that obvious, when probably one is driven to the edge such that one raises up one's face to the Heavens to ask "Where is the ease promised?"

When that happens, God answers, "Ah! Verily, the help of God is (always) near!" (Chapter 2; verse 214)

I am reminded of the famous Christian poem, "Footprints in the Sand" which indicates how little awareness do we have of God that His presence in those times of hardship, easing our burdens, is totally not felt. It is thus, for a believer of the Creator (no matter which religion), that faith must be entwined with hope. Hope that He will continue to provide ease, even when we're not aware of it. To be be hopeless is to lose faith in that eternal promise of twining of ease with hardship, to lose faith in God's help and mercy. Without that hope and faith, life becomes meaningless and it is easy to give up. Perhaps that is why people can be driven to suicide, perhaps because they can see no exit out of the darkness surrounding them. I continue to read chapter 94 which states:

"Hence, when you are freed [from distress], remain steadfast...and unto your Sustainer, turn with love." (Chapter 94; verses 7-8)

and am heartened for love is the basis of all these...hardship, ease and the promise of freedom from the hardship springs from His love for us, and all the reciprocity He asked for is for us to remain steadfast and love Him back. Why do I say that the hardship springs from His love? For He says:

"Every human being is bound to taste death; and We test you [all] through the bad and the good [things of life] by way of trial: and unto Us you all must return." (Chapter 21; verse 35)

Hardship is a form of test for us and our hearts, to distinguish our level of faith, to help us get closer to Him.

"And most certainly We shall try you all, so that We might mark out those of you who strive hard [in Our cause] and are patient in adversity: for We shall put to a test [the truth of] all your assertions." (Chapter 47; verse 31)

"...It is they whose hearts God has tested [and opened] to consciousness of Himself; [and] theirs shall be forgiveness and a reward supreme." (Chapter 49; 3)

After all these, I think I can no longer bemoan my current burden but must struggle to accept, strive hard, and be patient for I know He is near, even if I do not feel His presence at the moment.

Wintery Sunrise

2009-02-09T08:06:00.002Z

It's just 10 minutes past sunrise and while there are a couple of souls and birds out and about in the campus, it is still quiet. The inhabitants (students) have yet to stir from their bed this wintery morning. Outside, the trees and ground are covered in snow, once again painting the "world" in white.

I sit here gazing out of my window, enjoying the quiet and the winter wonderland outside. Soon, the day will begin and I will be swept up by my busy schedule once again with little time for reflection. But for now, I give thanks to God for His blessings and opportunity to experience this.

The beauty of snow leading to contemplations on duality

2009-02-08T21:27:00.010Z

It's late evening and I'm feeling a little mellow. It's been snowing since 2 hours ago and now the ground is white as snow. The lochen is almost frozen over and covered with snow as well. Again, I find myself thinking of God's beauty which is reflected in the beauty of His creation.

Yet, each of His creation is a double edged sword. There has been people stranded in the snowstorms around Britain this week and a boy died falling through the ice. In Australia, they are battling yet another creation of His; the fire whose usefulness to human is enormous. I heard about 96 people are believed to have died and the body count is expected to rise. Similarly, humans too, as His ultimate creation, tasked to be His viceroy on Earth, have both good and dark sides.

It is a philosophical question, but why does God create as such? In Islam, God has 99 names, much of which are reflections of His attributes and characters. Take for example:

Al-Qaabid
The Constricter, The Retainer, The Withholder, The One who constricts the sustenance by His wisdomand expands and widens it with His Generosity and Mercy.
Al-Baasit
The Expander, The Englarger, The One who constricts the sustenance by His wisdomand expands and widens it with His Generosity and Mercy.

or

Al-Khaafid
The Abaser, The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction and raises whoever He willed by His Endowment.
Ar-Raafi
The Exalter, The Elevator, The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction and raises whoever He willed by His Endowment.

Many of His attributes are again coupled, a dual quality that allows us to appreciate the contrast in order to develop a deeper understanding. I believe it is something that God devised for us especially. Unlike His other creations like the other living things on this Earth, we make choices based on our rationality. As Descarte said, "I think therefore I am." In the Qur'an, this appeal to our thinking or reasoning is very much apparent.

Duality is central to life in this universe. In physics, you have push-pull forces. Then there is the concept of expansion and contraction. Positive and negative. In finance, a call and a put option. In OR, there is maximization and minimization, primal and dual problems to be solved. Hot and cold. Male and female. I found this webpage on duality that I really like in which the author succintly states

"Why does this Law of Duality exist at all? Simply because if we didn’t have duality, we would not yearn and strive for wholeness and unity. In other words, we would not be impelled to return to the unmanifested Source of Being."

Sidenote: I believe that the universe and us are manifestations of His attributes and characters, though not of His Essence.

Winter Wonderland

2009-02-02T18:11:00.003Z

It snowed heavily early this morning - the first of many this week as the cold front brought London to a standstill and much snow to Edinburgh. The snow continued to fall heavily till about 5 pm, allowing all of us to have a lot of fun in the snow. Of course, I took advantage of the fact to snap some photos.

My friends in a snowfight! This is revenge!

Ah, the loch is really calm this morning with the ice forming on the surface.

I love this shot...seems like my friend Amy was climbing a Ben (mountain) when actually it was just a tiny mount.

There are still berries on the trees. :)

And this is my favourite shot. My camera was misted enough to create the soft focus on the side with the hint of blue sky and snow in the middle.

In this life...

2009-01-30T01:33:00.002Z

For my family...

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-29T20:03:00.003Z

Wishing all my Chinese friends a happy and prosperous New Year ahead. May the economy gets better sooner rather than later.

This year, I celebrated the Chinese New Year with a "reunion" dinner made up of some of my classmates and some other friends, including Wilbur (the other Singaporean I know of in Heriot Watt). It was definitely a "reunion" in the sense that most of my friends and classmates went home for the Christmas break and this was the first time we could gather together again after so many weeks of not seeing each other.

However, I truly missed my family and the Chinese New Year goodies...luckily, Wilbur "smuggled" me some pineapple tarts and my mom is sending those plus Lapis cake and her fruit cake to me soon. :) I also managed to talk to my parents, brother, and Auntie Helen as well as Uncle Allan and his wife this week. So I'm quite satisfied overall, in the midst of drowning in work/tutorials. Yet, the sense of sadness lingers.. I can't seem to rid myself of it nor speak about it.

Natascha's visit

2009-01-15T23:10:00.003Z

(From Left: Me, Natascha, Jenni, and John)

The New Year's week was fun because Natascha visited (and I managed to get back my wallet). We went over to Jenni's in Dundee for 29-30th where we caught up with her and John (and Gemma). Pouring over L&C fanfic, watching L&C (and a bonus: Superman movie), we really had a blast.

We went for a girl's night out at an Indian restaurant where we ordered different dishes that all look alike. It was lovely though.

(A girl's night out)

(Natascha in her kilt-skirt)

We then came back to Edinburgh for Hogmanay where we attended the candlelit concert in St. Giles Cathedral (Kirk). It reminded me a bit of the last concert that we attended at the MIT convention hall...a Christmas concert in which Anita was organizing.

After that, we went to the street party with several of my friends. First New Year's street party I've attended...we had fun and danced to the Scottish jigs. The fireworks were breathtaking and the laser display was spectacular.

Ah...I definitely enjoyed Natascha's visit. Now, it's back to work for me. :) Hope this year will be a better year than the last...even if we're starting this year on a recession and a man-made disaster in Palestine.

London pictures

2009-01-01T10:17:00.019Z

Happy New Year, all. I know I'm a bit late but well, I was trying to enjoy a quiet week mostly by myself before returning to classes (which I did this past week).

Thought I'd upload my London pictures here and tell some of the stories. Went to London over Christmas (23rd - 26th)...a piece of advice for travellers; never go to London over Christmas. The transport system and most of the tourist attractions are shut down from 24th to 26th. We were lucky enough to be able to visit the British Museum on 23rd.

Anyway, on to the photos...on 26th, Nicole (my friend from Barbados) and I went on our last tour of some of the sights. Behind me is the Tower of London...I know it doesn't look like a tower. I had imagined something like Rapunzel's tower; apparently not.

Behind us is the Tower Bridge over the Thames. Now, this is more like a tower!

From the London bridge, you can actually see the Tower Bridge. In front of it is a warship...forgot what's the name, though.

I pestered Nicole to come here (London Bridge) because of the popular Nursery Rhyme, but it definitely didn't look like I imagine...notice that trend. It's going to recur all through my trip.

On the same day, that morning, we were able to catch the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace. It was a treat as they had the military band performing Christmas songs. Cool!

On the actual Christmas day itself, we only toured in the morning because there wasn't any transport and our feet were killing us by noon. So, we managed to go round to Trafalgar Square, London Eye, the Thames and the Temple where they shot Da Vinci's code.

Here we are at Trafalgar Square. Just behind Nicole and Hajar is the National Arts Gallery which was unfortunately closed so we couldn't explore it.

This find was so cool! We were walking along the Thames when we chanced upon this obelisk that originated from Ancient Egypt. Read the inscription...it would say that the obelisk have been there since 1870s.

Of course, I had to pose with the Sphinx that was erected beside the obelisk. :D

Back at Trafalgar Square, we had our snack/lunch. That's Nicole pointing to the Nelson monument. We then headed back to the Russel Square hostel where we spent the afternoon and evening watching TV (Dr. Who specials and Top Gear among others).

On 24th, the tube was running partially so we managed to move around even though we still couldn't visit lots of the museums and galleries. Still we had a good time visiting the Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey. Below is a picture of Big Ben, which was attached to the Parliament house (surprisingly for me since I never knew that).

We also walked in St. James Park where we met this guy who feeds the birds so regularly that the swans, ducks and other birds chat with him, literally.

Of course, I had to pose at the Buckingham Palace gates...the compulsory photostop.

And of course the palace guards...unfortunately there was no changing of the guards on this day.

We also went to Harrods...pretending to be rich. You wouldn't believe how tacky some of the clothes are. Again, Harrods does not live up to its name...I imagined something grander.

Ooh, look...there's the Duke of Wellington. I visited Waterloo in 2006, so I guess it is only right I took a picture with Wellington, the hero of Waterloo.

Could you tell where I was? I was at Imperial College...I was let down; the campus is really ugly! The bell tower behind me is the only decent building there.

The first night we were in London, Nicole and I walked all the way from British Museum to Madam Tussauds...what a disappointment! The entrance to Madam Tussauds was GBP 20.52! Yikes! Needless to say, we didn't go in.

But we managed to find Baker Street. For Sherlock Holmes fans... :D But again, the buildings there are ugly! Singapore has nicer modern buildings than those we spotted that night. Still, Oxford Street was fun...look Ma, what Santa got for me:

Now, for my very lovely sister....

hehehe...that was the topping of our first day which started with the British Museum, of course. First though, we found out that London was warmer than we had imagine. Underneath my jacket, I was wearing a single T-shirt, no other layers.

Ok, so I couldn't go to Stonehenge. At least I got a picture with its picture in the British Museum.

And of course, I had to admire the Greek and Greco-influenced artifices within the museum...we spent our entire afternoon just going from one exhibit to the next. Egyptian, Assyrian, Persian, Greek, Roman, European, etc...it's so facinating.

Would I go back? Maybe if I don't have to spend so much!

Happy New Year

2008-12-27T23:37:00.002Z

Back from London where I spent Christmas and Boxing Day. It's been a hellish day starting from last night (Boxing Day) where my friend, Nicole, and I found out that the railway from London to the airport was closed and if we had take the diverted route, we wouldn't have made it onto our plane. We then spent GBP 120 for a taxi to take us to the airport....OUCH!!! Okay, the plane ride was fine but when we came back to Edinburgh, guess what!? The bus wasn't working and we had to spend another GBP 17 for taxi (See how cheaper Edinburgh is?). Anyway, all right. This afternoon, I went to the store to buy grocery since Natascha's coming and my cupboard is bare. After shopping, I had to post the postcard for Umar and his siblings. Again, lady luck struck...I got back home and found I lost my wallet - credit card, debit card, student cards plus cash! Yeah, not enough that I had to fork out so much money the night before, now I can't get cash out for my trip to Dundee.

I'm really hoping the next few days till New Year will be better. Wishing all a Happy New Year...will update with pictures of Christmas in London when I'm more in the mood for it.

Finally done with two assignments

2008-12-10T16:16:00.003Z

Okay, I finally finished my Financial Risk Management assignment after working on it for so long - it was fun though as we were working on real data and were analyzing the current crisis in terms of risk management. We looked at a 5 day period in October when there were more than 5% gains and losses on the FTSE 100. Also tried to predict the VaR and Expected shortfall for some days in November. The assignment helped give me a better picture of how the theory works in practice.

Also, finished one of my special topics assignment. Left Energy Markets and studying for Financial Markets exams...I guess I must be getting old because I don't really feel the kind of panic I used to get when exams are near. Either that, or I'm just exhausted with all these assignments. Anyway, will be glad that it will all be over soon.

Balmy Night (for Edinburgh)

2008-12-05T21:46:00.003Z

It's Friday, the weather is almost balmy (for Edinburgh) with a soft breeze and clear sky. I can see the quarter moon through my bedroom window. For a Friday night, it is quiet. Probably because the exams are around the corner and everyone is starting to feel the pressure.

I've just decided I needed a break from an intensive and exhausting week. I thank God for helping me cope and keeping me sane. Emerging with at least one assignment almost done, another assignment's direction is becoming clear and yet a third half completed, I think I deserve to take this Friday night easy before plunging back to work tomorrow. My friends must be wondering what has happened to me since I've not responded to emails for the past week and a half. I'm resolved to replying to them tonight.

Anyway, this entry is just to express myself a bit and let out some thoughts and feelings that have been mulling in my head. As stressed as I was this week with so much work piled up, I enjoyed the challenge and the bond it helped built with the girls (Amy, Alexia, Bahar, Nicole, and Yiota). I've always worked better with guys but I have to say that I enjoyed my time with the girls. Well, we were crazy enough to take an hour's break this past Tuesday night when it started snowing heavily to play in the snow. The break helped us relieve our stress a bit.

On another note, my father left for Hajj on Monday night/Tuesday morning. He, along with my godmother and some other family friends, will be moving on to Mina tomorrow. I pray that God keep them safe and healthy...that He give them strength to complete this Hajj. I'm not sure when I will be called but I do hope I will be called. I long to see His House again and be granted peace and tranquility of the heart.

Eid will be here in another few days. Another Eid away from my family - a friend asked if I wished to go back to Singapore last week. I denied it, which is true to a certain extent. I wouldn't have chosen to come here if I weren't sure I would be homesick. However, I do wish I could be with my family especially on special occasions. This is true particularly for this Eid when I know my father is away and my mom and brother are alone. I'm not sure if my sister and brother will go visit them on that day since for us, Eid-ul-Adha is usually low key unlike Eid-ul-Fitr where we usually get together late morning before going visiting.

Okay, that's it for now. Will write later after all the insanity has passed.

Pictures of first snowfall...

2008-11-28T20:35:00.008Z

Okay, I'm frustrated with my assignment and need some distraction so I'm uploading the photos I took during last Sunday morning's snowfall.

The names say it all...

The first snowfall - From Him to us (2)

2008-11-23T02:50:00.002Z

Tonight, I watch the snow flakes falling furiously as I write this. At 2 - 3 am in the morning, there is a sense of peace and quiet about the campus even as the snow blankets the ground white. There is a sense that God is close. Of course I couldn't just see the snow, I had to experience it myself - so I threw on some clothes, jacket and my Sony alpha before marching downstairs to see, touch, and snap some photograph...okay, the pictures didn't turn out all that well coz I don't have my tripod and I was too cold to hold the camera steady. But watching the side of the loch turning white and the green grass disappearing under the blanket of snow, I felt a tug - winter is here. A change is happening right before my eyes. Yet, most would have slept through it, not aware of this moment, not sensing the implications...and I wonder...

How many significant events have happened in my life and I "slept" through them? How many times have God reached for me and I carried on, unaware? Have I squandered the time given to me?

The first snowfall - From Him to us

2008-11-21T13:22:00.002Z

I saw the random snowflakes in the rain this morning and it brought the memories of writing a story back in 2001 based on my experience regarding my first snowfall at Prof Patera's place...

"Snow's falling. Snow's falling? When did it happen? Just yesterday, it seemed like summer and now snow's falling?"She looked out of the glass wall of her little house at the soft flakes falling gently to the ground. The little pine tree on one side of the house was being covered ever so rapidly with snow. She could hear the snow hitting her roof.

Ah...I remember...subhanallah! Will I feel the same when I see the actual first snowfall here? Only God knows, but there is something magical, enchanting of that first gentle flakes falling onto your outstretched hands - they've recently been with the Creator...from Him to you.

Swimming...

2008-11-18T14:22:00.003Z

Finally, I got to swim after a whole two months of going without. It's quite expensive and there are few places to swim, here. In fact at almost 3 pounds, it is the most expensive swimming session I've had. But it was worth it. :) Ventured out at about 11 am after my study session to Dalry Road and found the swimming centre that Melanie talked about.

The swimming pool is small - smaller than SP's pool and not quite Olympic length of 50 m. But the weird part is that the centre has an open shower concept - you can bet I didn't shower at the pool. :D Still, it was a satisfying hour of swimming (didn't want to over do the first session). The pool is near Sommerfield and Lidl so I can do my grocery shopping when I go for the next swimming session.

St Andrews visit (2nd Nov 2008)

2008-11-16T15:05:00.014Z

So, these are the pictures for the St. Andrew's trip. Not as spectular scenery as the highland trip I took before but it had a charm of its own. Now, below is the fishing village of Pittenweem, the number one port along the East Nenk. Note the extremely low tide and the beautiful sky.

Due to the really low tide, some of us (the more adventurous souls) decided to go all the way out to the edge of the waters.

The rest of us stay close to shore...like Siham (my flatmate) and I. We explored the port instead.

Okay, maybe I was a bit brave - I did venture out onto the slippery rocks and got this shot of the village skyline.

Of course, we weren't all serious explorers; some of us tried to relive our childhood too...tentatively.

And what would a trip be without the charming animals - here's the obligatory "cat in the window." :)

Then we made our way to another fishing village, Anstruther, where we visited the Scottish Fisheries Museum. The museum is amazing!! It traced back the history of fishing in Scotland to long before Christ. They actually got this archeological find of an ancient boat and the fishing equipments. Cool! The museum also had a section where they restored old boats and we can actually see them working. Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to take pictures inside the museum. So, here's a replacement picture of the harbour with its oh so beautiful blue sky...one of the loveliest days I've experienced in Scotland.

Anstruther is not just known for the museum but also for its fish and chips shop - see the long queue? Well, this fish bar is the best in the whole of Britain for several years.

That's Hajar and her delicious fish and chips!

After lunch, we headed to St. Andrews. As I mentioned, this is the birthplace of golf, but it is also where the oldest university in Scotland (St. Andrews University) is based. St. Andrews University was established by the monks and priests of St. Andrews. St. Andrews was the centre of religious activity after the monarchy decided to move it from Iona and St. Andrews Cathedral was built. Anyway, today, the cathedral lay in ruins because of neglect.

Apart from these significant historical places, we have to have at least a token castle for the trip and below is that castle. This castle was used by the powerful bishops of St. Andrews till the time of the Protestant/Catholic fighting. Look at the ruins - the castle was really very vast and was built on the edge of the cliff.

I like this picture of the only other Singaporean I've actually met (there's one in my FRM course). Wilbur is a sweet guy...I think being the few Singaporeans around, we kind of bonded. He's actually doing acturial studies.

When I shot this, I thought that the people climbing about the ruins looked like toys in a lego set. Anyway, it was just a whim.

Hajar took this shot for Siham and me at the St. Andrews cathedral - see the tower. That's one end of the cathedral.

The picture below was taken from the other end of the cathedral. Note how far the tower is from me? That's how vast the cathedral was. Now, the grounds is used as a burial ground.

Okay, Hajar is a good photographer. I love this picture she took of me standing on the altar stone at the other end of the cathedral.

Now, for the oldest golf course in the world! Okay, it's not the fanciest nor the biggest, but this is the first golf course and it's where the golf rules are made.

And what's remarkable about the golf course is that it's right next to the beach, as seen below with Siham, Menal, and Flora.

Beach and sunset - good combination but the beach was on the wrong side (east instead of west). Still, I managed to find this slither of sunset behind me. I was using the timer and sunset function for this shot - turned out okay.

Had to take the skyline of St. Andrews below.

and the long stretch of beach.

Here's the quadrangle of St. Andrews University. I wish my university was this charming...hmm...seems like all the universities I've attended do not have this kind of old charm to them.

November's adventures

2008-11-15T20:01:00.005Z

Well, today's adventure is going to be the last weekend adventure for a while until after my exam on 19th December. With two projects due, a challenge to be won, and exams to prepare, I will need to break my "sacred" 'no work on the weekend' rule (which I've instituted since my SMA days). I'm definitely breaking that rule this weekend as I will have to work on one of the projects tonight and another tomorrow.

But I thought I'd update what I've been up to for the past three weekends. On 2nd November, the Chaplaincy organized a trip to the fishing villages along the eastern coast, culminating at the birthplace of golf; St. Andrews. In one of the fishing village, I managed to taste the best fish and chips ever after visiting the museum of Scottish fishing. In St. Andrews, besides visiting the oldest golf course in the world, there is the beach - a long stretch of sandy beach (of course, it does not compare to the Maldives, Phuket etc...but not having seen a "real" beach for so many months, it's a treat.)

Then, my friend, Jenni, invited me to her place in Dundee last weekend. She and her husband John were so kind to host me and will be hosting me again for the Christmas-New Year vacation when Natascha is coming over. They live in this cute little place - not sure what to call it, but it is a house that is divided into four, each with a fourth of the grounds/garden. Since John's stroke, they built an extension to their part of the house and so, I had the upper bedroom all to myself. They also have this cute little dog, Gemma, who is even friendlier than Copper (San Diego Chris's dog who passed away last year.). While I was there, she would sit either on my lap or beside me (and keeping me warm).

Jenni and John took me to a place near Abernethy, the wee village of Aviemore if I'm not wrong, for lunch on Saturday where John used to flyfish. The river was definitely good for whitewater rafting! We then headed for the Spittal of Glenshee (where there is a skiing resort) - to find some snow for me. Unfortunately, the weather's too warm for it (ironically). But the view was breathtaking...(no, unfortunately we didn't stop to take photos.) I'm just sorry that John wasn't feeling well with all the twists and turns of the road.

By the time we got back at their house, I hurried to make dinner for them - made improvised chicken rice, after which we watched Merlin on TV. Wow! It's been over two months since I last watched TV. After John retired, Jenni and I watched two episodes of Lois and Clark from season 2. (LOL! I'm hoping that we can do a LnC marathon next time with Natascha and hopefully Chris {from Scotland} - a mini FoLCfest.) One lovely thing about Jenni is that I definitely felt no age gap between us - I guess the FoLC and fanfic writing gave us a point to start from but we found quite a number of other interest in common like history. Jenni is very knowledgable in British and Scottish history - hmm...another history buff, like me.

After chatting all the way till midnight, I found an interesting book in the bedroom called "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffeneger. Well, predictably, I spent three hours reading it - beautifully written and very engaging (though quite disorientating due to the jumps in time). On Sunday, it was a lazy Remembrance day where we spent the morning watching the previous' night's telecast of Remembrance day celebration in Royal Albert Hall. Wow! It was very moving and John and Jenni helped me to understand some of traditions. (John served in the Army military band when he was young.)

After lunch, Jenni and I went to visit a museum in Dundee - the historic ship that ventured to the Antartic twice, the second voyage a fatal one. It wasn't a big ship so it was quite surprising that it managed to survive the first voyage. Gemma went with us, getting quite giddy with being outdoors. Really, she is sooooooo cute. Anyway, I had a great time in Dundee, all thanks to Jenni and John.

And today, I went on another Haggis highland trip - this time, it's to Loch Lomond and the Campbell country. I'll load up the pictures from St. Andrew's trip and Loch Lomond trips soon. But here's some pictures of Gemma and Jenni.

Cheers,

Sid

LOOK AT THAT WAGGING TAIL!

An inspiring article on inter-religious activities

2008-11-13T01:01:00.002Z

As I read this, I remembered the effort we, the MIT MSA, Jewish student groups, and some others, put in back in 2001/2002 to start something like this...hope that such efforts will last and bring good to the community.

Visiting a friend

2008-11-08T06:42:00.002Z

Woke up this morning early so that I could visit Jenni and her husband. They've been gracious in extending their invitation to me. So, I'm going to try to replicate my success at cooking chicken rice for them. Will probably update the blog when I get back...:)

Zero percent interest rates?

2008-10-31T20:31:00.002Z

With the Feds close to zero percent interest rates borrowing/lending between banks, it is actually doing so to jumpstart the economy by encouraging banks to lend to each other. With the ability to borrow without worrying about exhorbitant interest charges, this is close to what Islam encourages for lending/borrowing. Islam sees lending as an act of charity. In this particular case, this is charity amongst banks; between the better-off banks and their troubled counterparts. Cool.

Lost Worlds - Pagans (History Channel)

2008-10-27T20:51:00.002Z

One thing I love (and miss) about cable network are the variety of channels; my clear favourites are Discovery and History Channels. You learn a lot from these two channels, especially if you are a techy or a history buff, of which I would like to think I am both.

So, months ago, I turned on the TV to the History Channel and lo and behold, it was showing "Lost Worlds - Pagans." The show basically took us to the ancient ruins around Britain, ruins that predates the Roman's conquest by several thousand years. I'm not even sure if these ruins might even predate some of the Celtic tribes like the Picts. It wasn't really stated in the show.

Anyway, cool theories about Stonehenge and Woodhenge, the very well preserved village at Orkney Island, and the connections between the various sites surrounding Sillbury (hope I'm spelling it correctly), really drew my attention. The village, for example, was built on a prehistoric landfill and the people at the time seemed to have some sort of recycling processes going on...and here I thought that recycling is a modern concept. Little do I know.

Of course, the technology that built Stonehenge and other henges boggles the mind. I am reminded of the Quran's insistance for us to travel through the Earth, for example, in Chapter 22, verse 46

"Do they not travel through the land, so that their hearts (and minds) may thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn to hear? Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their breasts."

The Quran exhorts us to travel in at least ten different verses. Not for fun, work, or visiting love ones, but to learn wisdom by opening our eyes, ears, and ultimately our hearts. How is this related to the show? Today, we have the technology and the luxury of such learning without having to leave our homes as this show proves. What wisdom did I derive from this show? I cannot say that it is a wisdom that I currently fully appreciate but let me share and perhaps through the sharing better understand it.

Ancient civilizations, such as the Pagans of Britain, Egypt, Babylon, Rome, have long left their monuments and mark on the landscape of our world. Archeologists, historians, and others have researched and discovered new information about those eras. Yet, we never really ask the basic question: what happened to lead to their downfall and how does it pertain to us.

I'm sure the "technical" reasons for their downfall are well known or still being researched, but it is not the academic questioning that would lead to wisdom. Instead, it must be appreciated and manifested in our own lives. We really must learn from history and stop making the same mistakes. The Quran tells us so many stories of ancient civilizations now lost in time. This morning, one of my classmates asked why the Egyptians are no longer practising the old religion. It reminded me of Prophet Moses' (a.s.) exhortation to the Pharoah and his people and how Pharoah answered. How Pharoah ordered his priests to build the highest tower for him to "reach" God. Also of the other ancient communities mentioned in the Quran, especially in Chapter 11.

While it is given that these communities rejected the message that their prophets brought to them, it is not so much of that rejection that led to their destructions. It is in their deeds; the Ad whom God mentioned in the Quran as builders of lofty pillars, the Thamud who carved cities out of the mountains (probably where Petra is ??), the Madyan, and the Ancient Egyptians. Each of these people transgessed beyond measures. Take, for example, the Madyan in which Prophet Shu'ayb (a.s.) exhorted to "give just measure and weight nor withhold from the people the things that are their dues." (Chapter 11, verse 85). This reminds me of the current financial situation today.

Give just measure and weight - were the bankers fair in their dealings with those who are not credit-worthy, not to mention that interest itself is not just for it creates wealth without the necessary work/effort. The heavy interests charged to these people were themselves a burden, not to mention having to pay off the loans. Then, in restructuring the mortgages/debts, they sold each "parcel" off to unsuspecting investors. That is not giving just measure and weight.

The Thamud, when given the she-camel of God, hamstrung her. Look again at what we're doing to the Earth today and to the other creations of God. Similar to the Thamud, we are given the responsibility of sharing the resources with them. How much have we "hamstrung" our fellow creatures with our pollutions, our destruction of their habitats, our exploitation of resources beyond bounds?

Coming back to the ancient Celtic race, much of their traditions and knowledge were lost. Why? Because theirs was an oral tradition and from here, too, can we learn. That there is a need for documentation and a repository of knowledge. That is why Islam puts much emphasis on transmission of knowledge through the written word; the Quran stands before us as part of that emphasis as the written word (kalam) of Allah.

(Only God knows best.)

The Blessings of Allah

2008-10-26T18:03:00.002Z

Friendship is a blessing from Allah and I am therefore so grateful to Him for gifting me with the friendship of Shariffa. What can I say about this remarkable lady that can do justice to her impact in my life?

Yesterday, she helped me clarified my thoughts and set about to be more proactive. And subhanllah, today, there was another opening to help me...a study circle. It was really God's subtle Hand as I, upon Shariffa's advice, asked a friend if she knew of any such circle yesterday. Remarkably, this afternoon, I was praying Zuhur at the mosque when a stranger approached me to let me know that there was such a circle on Tuesdays (just the right timing as it is my only "free" day).

Everything in its time

2008-10-26T01:25:00.002+01:00

The Warren Buffett Way, part deux

2008-10-22T09:40:00.007+01:00

The more I read the book and keep up with the current financial news, the more impressed I am with Warren Buffett. In the current banking turmoil, Wells Fargo has done better than expected as it is not as burdened by the subprime mortgage paper pitfall. Recently Coca-Cola registered a profitable third quarter as compared to its rival PepsiCo. Coke and WF are some of the companies Buffett has a stake in.

These two companies were also featured in the book. These two companies illustrates some of Warren Buffett's strategies which I really admire:

1. Know the companies very well; its assets and core business, its record of consistency, and favourable long term prospects - so do your research
2. Place importance on trustworthy, honest, rational, independent thinking, and exellent managers.
3. Value of the companies - whether buying at under the value or a fair price, you need to know the intrinsic value of the companies. This is where Williams' model come into practice.

And recently, he was quoted as saying, "Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful" and advising people to buy stocks now. The editorial in the Financial Times (dated 21/10/08) said that it is not so easy for investors to follow as they are not sure when is the lowest.

However, if you were to follow the book, Buffett does not just buy indiscriminately but buys undervalued companies at bargain prices. Even if the prices were to go lower, it will not matter as much as he believes that these undervalued companies will sooner or later realise their actual values. Also, since he invests mostly long term, the subsequent returns over the long term will not be much different.

Of course, the editorial comment had a point, which is why I especially liked Bloomberg's advice following Buffett's. He mentioned that for small investors, best to invest in mutual funds and do it over certain period of time. For example, say do it monthly over a period of six months. Your investment would most likely have an averaging effect.

My zany classmates II

2008-10-21T18:48:00.002+01:00

The last few days have been filled with laughter as I watch the antics of my classmates. The Yiota says jokes are pretty hillarious though if I write them here, one may not think so as it really depended on the context. However, she can say such outrageous stuff with a straight face. Of course, she and Nicole feed off each other to make me crack up.

Of course, there's Nicholas who has a sarcastic wit (something about the Frenchmen perhaps). And yesterday, for the first time, I found out that Andreas has a wicked sense of humour as well.

Crazy Edinburgh Weather part deux

2008-10-18T11:33:00.004+01:00

Just five minutes ago, the sky is blue and the wind was blowing. Then the clouds roll in and now it is raining very heavily. I've always thought that Singapore's weather was fickle; it is nothing compared to Edinburgh's weather. Imagine being caught by the weather when you're up in the hills and mountains. Hmm...okay, tomorrow if the weather continues, I'm going to book the court and "try" playing squash instead.

-----------

It's now 1816 hours. Went to have lunch with the girls - cooked Chicken Rice, Bahar cooked a barley soup, Yiota came up with a Greek salad and dzatziki (not sure if I got the spelling right), Amy and Shuyuan brought desert while Nicole made her superb ginger tea. We were teasing Yiota that I should create a" Yiota says" column on my blog. She's great fun and a good sport. Definitely loved lunch and overate I think.

From the right: Shuyuan, Yiota, Nicole, Bahar, and Amy. Cheers, girls.

Holyrood Park & the royal mile

2008-10-18T08:59:00.013+01:00

Last Sunday was overcast and cold but it was still too beautiful a day to spend indoors. (Unlike this week where it's raining.) So, since I went up to Salisbury Craig below in Holyrood Park the past weekend for a read, I thought I'd go and do a little climbing and photography.

Picture taken from in front of the Scottish Parliement of the Salisbury Craig. The view from the Craig is lovely.

Then, there's the famous Arthur's Seat. Here's the route going up to the highest part of Holyrood Park.

Like most of Scotland, Holyrood has its ruins, from the various time periods - this one was an abbey, I think.

The view of Arthur's seat from the ruinned abbey.

As you go further up the hills, you can definitely see the city skyline and the sea beyond as seen above and below.

I took my tripod along and so managed to take a picture of myself (Arthur's seat is behind me) on this trip.

And on the way back, I took a stroll along the Royal Mile (the road linking Holyrood Palace and Edinburgh Castle) because I wanted to buy a rug for my room. Below are some of the snapshots I took of the Royal Mile.

Indulging

2008-10-17T01:02:00.002+01:00

Okay, those who know me well know that I rarely splurge on clothings. Other than my indulgence on books and IT stuff, I don't really spend much. But today, I did. I've already bought a good winter jacket plus my older stuff which are good enough. However, today (or yesterday) I was window shopping and found this velvetish jacket (suede, I think) costing 15 pounds. Okay, couldn't resist and I threw away 15 good (and crucial) pounds just for vanity sake. But I'm definitely satisfied because I tried it later in the night and it kept me really warm, even my hands.

My zany classmates

2008-10-13T19:46:00.002+01:00

Just a small note. Absolutely adore my classmates - they are fun and completely zany. With the Greeks and Chinese being the majority and the rest are made up of Singaporean (me), Taiwanese, Barbadoan(??), Canadian/Camaroonian, Vietnamese, Thai, German, Nigerian, Mexicans, Irish, British, Polish and a few others, it's really an international class. I've not laughed so much as with this group, especially with Yiota around.

The Warren Buffett Way (second edition)

2008-10-12T20:59:00.003+01:00

This book is one of the five "optional" books that we've to read (and testable) for Financial Markets. I've just read the first four chapters and I'm already impressed! His strategy makes sense. If I may summarise the first four chapters:

Buffett's investment strategy is shaped by four men: Graham, Fisher, Williams, and Munger. From them, he synthesized the following - a need for margin of safety, control of his emotions and therefore use market fluctuations to his advantage, have as complete understanding and knowledge of the company as possible, investing in companies with above average potential and capable management, a good model for the intrinsic value of the business, and paying a fair price for quality companies.

Based on these, his strategy puts forward the following criteria:
1. Simple, undertandable business
2. Consistent earning power and possess good economics
3. Little debt as possible
4. Trustworthy managers/management team

And of course, the fundamental idea behind his strategy is basically that he is the owner of the business whether he buys a business or buy stocks in the business. Long term commitments instead of short term holding.

As I was reading, I recalled how my father lost a lot of his savings when he was playing the stock markets in the 80s. Part of the fault lies in the little understanding of the companies and dangerous strategy to make money from any arbitrage opportunities. I'm also wondering how I could apply to my own investment strategy. Given that my investments are mostly in mutual funds, it's definitely not easy to know who the managers of these funds are and my knowledge is limited to the prospectus and annual reports given out. Well, I've got more chapters to go. So, perhaps the answer will come along the way.

The Credit Crunch

2008-10-11T19:03:00.000+01:00

First, it was the subprime market that fell, then it was investment banks failing, now it has spread to many major banks all over the world...leading to (possibly) the Bankruptcy of a sovereign country - Iceland. Next, they say, will be the economic downturns and recessions. In a global economy where credit and debt are the underlying forces moving it, this is definitely a recipe for disaster as the banks are hoarding their capital and interbank loan rates skyrockets. In the cycle of credit and debt, the economy is basically fueled by consumer spending - the more you spend, the more you need to borrow and therefore the more "profit" is made from the credit. This unchecked spending/lending has led to the credit crunch where even large banks are defaulting on their own debts. From a book I'm reading, it highlight two very important deficiencies of the present system:

1. A debt-based system needs an effective lender of last resort and right now, it's been proven that we don't have one. The banks are looking to the Governments to bail them out but as Iceland proved, even sovereign countries may go bankrupt.

2. A debt-based system need debt restructuring and workout mechanism which as can be seen currently, even the US is grappling with this issue.

Right now, there is talk of needing a new model or better regulation. However, without changing the fundamental and here, I mean, the debt-based system itself, I seriously don't think the economy can sustain itself in the long run even if we get out of this crisis unscathed.

An economy that can sustain itself, I believe, has to be founded on justice and equitability. Justice in such that the gap between the poor and the rich do not widen but instead will close. What constitute a just economy? Well, based on what I've read:
1. equality in opportunities for all and in utilizing the natural resources (no hoarding of resources by a few or due to "national" interest)
2. just exchange and distribution of goods (was thinking of how in the zero-sum "game" economy I wrote in my blog earlier, this just/equitable exchange is unlikely to occur.)

Definitely, a debt-based system where the poor gets poorer as they get further into debt fail this test of being a just system. With the kind of economy founded on justice, there has to be a regulatory body (global) to ensure justice is served. Perhaps, our leaders are brave enough and will take this opportunity to change the current system...not that I'd hold my breath on it.

Time heals all wound...

2008-10-06T23:52:00.003+01:00

I really believe that. I can testify to its truth from my own experiences. Taken four years, two jobs, avoidance of all things familiar, and finally a move back to school, but I think I'm finally over it. I can let JC go now and let my nephew play with him. Bye JC.

Model Risk - Illiquidity

2008-10-05T20:14:00.003+01:00

Being Sunday and a brilliant day to boot, I decided to go to Holyrood Park. Climbed the first hill (well, midway) and because it was almost 1 pm, decided to have lunch and enjoy the sun there. With a view over the park, most of Edinburgh and the sea (well I think it is the sea), I finished lunch and started to enjoy my book on quantitative risk management. Amidst VaR and loss functions, the chapter I was reading discussed the importance of model risk in risk management. One of these is actually the ability (or inability) to capture the illiquidity of the situation. It gave the example of LTCM but I was thinking of the current situation of the bailout and the challenges the Fed face in pricing the bad assets when the market's liquidity is almost nil. The book gave a few references of works done to include this liquidity/illiquidity as a risk factor. Managed to get two of the papers and hopefully read them soon. Very interesting, indeed.

Loch Ness trip and other stuff

2008-10-04T18:43:00.032+01:00

As I mentioned, the weather in Edinburgh is crazy. Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny day and yet, this morning, I woke up to the winds howling and hurling rain at my window. Just when I was supposed to meet Jenni. But at least the weather got us to have a good chat for almost 2 hours. She is just a lovely lady.
Okay, as I promised my brother, here's the pictures from my Highland trip to Dunkeld, Loch Ness, Culloden, etc. The right order (chronologically) should be from bottom up. So, you're actually seeing the pictures from the end of my tour first.

Just before we headed back, someone requested to meet Hamish, so here he is:

Hamish is really a "Hairy Coo" as my guide, Alan, calls them. Which means that he is actually a highland cattle. Note the sunny and clear blue sky.

Just before we saw Hamish, we stopped here (I forgot the Glen's name) which reminded me of the scene where Harry flew with Buckbeak over the Loch and Forbidden forrest. As you can see, crazy Scottish weather struck again and it was raining.

Now, this is a historic site - Glencoe...the site of the massacre of the MacDonald Clan by the Campbells during the Jacobite era. Look at how tiny the group was when compared to the mountains. Alan was telling them the gruesome story in the biting rain. It was literally freezing!

Similarly, I was struck by the majesty of the mountains when I saw how tiny our bus was. See that speck of yellow?

What can I say? Subhanallah!

Again, what can I say? In the freezing rain, I just had to take a picture of this wild flower. My favourite picture of the hundreds I've taken on this trip.

Now, before we went to Glencoe, we went to Glen Nevis at the foot of Ben Nevis (the tallest mountain in Scotland). Note that it wasn't raining here. Glen Nevis was the site where they shot the first three minutes of Braveheart and also the site of Hagrid's house. Cool, ain't it?

Hmm...we were supposed to stop at this town near Loch Ness to buy lunch but since I was fasting, I used the time to snap some photos. This was one of the pictures of the river running through the town down to Loch Ness.

Okay, the quality ain't that good here coz we couldn't stop and I actually took it from the moving bus. But this is the birthplace of Never Neverland and Peter Pan.

Mid morning of the second day. We visited this ruined castle at the bank of Loch Ness where Robert the Bruce once conquered.

We got to Loch Ness early morning and the sun was shining even though it was cold. Here's Melanie, my French flatmate who came on the trip with me. Did we spot Nessie? Well...see for yourself:

So, any guess?

Bright and early, Alan got us down to Loch Ness. The night before, we stayed in Inverness. Jenni told me this afternoon that Inver actually means, inlet. So Inverness is actually located at the mouth of the River Ness which comes from Loch Ness. Alan told us the Loch Ness is the largest body of fresh water in all of Britain and deeper than we can imagine (Trillions litre of water).

On the first day, the weather wasn't any better. Here, Melanie and I posed at the Cairne in Culloden where the last Jacobite uprising led to the historic battle there. Bonnie Prince Charlie fought against the English and was defeated. Thousands of Scots died that day.

The cairne is a traditional way for the Scots to remember and honor their dead.

Again, I really couldn't resist experimenting. Any comments?

Okay, the first thing came to mind when I saw this hut was Hagrid's! But no, this was a replica of the hut in which some of the Scottish men took cover in and were burnt alive by the English army.

A clear view of the battleground.

Before Culloden, we visited Ruthven Barracks, where the Scottish army stayed in before the battle. Here's what the view was like from the barracks. And below is the ruins of the barrack seen from the road.

This waterfall is the second stop of our trip. Beautiful place. Unfortunately, this is the place where I broke the camera hood. Ouch!

I played with the shutter speed and got this lovely effect. I was really pleased even though it may not have been worth the broken hood. Now, below is the beautiful River Tay in the town of Dunkeld, our very first stop. The weather was lovely and the scenery was just breathtaking.

The cathedral behind me (and seen below) is one of the oldest in Scotland. It was built in the sixth century when Christianity first arrived in Scotland. A good start to a very interesting trip.

Crazy Edinburgh Weather

2008-10-02T19:53:00.002+01:00

I love Edinburgh, really I do. It has a charm of its own, quite like Boston/Cambridge. A big city, yet, it has its own personality. But one thing I am not crazy about is the weather. Someone mentioned today that it's been said that you can get the four seasons all in one day, here. I totally agree. Just take today...When my classmates and I set out for Uni of Edinburgh this morning, it was sunny (a perfect summer's day). Then it started to rain (while the sun is shining) in the afternoon. Autumn's weather, perhaps? Now, it's night and it is about 5 or 6 degree out there, plus the rain and the wind...if it were Sydney, this would be considered winter. No wonder, several of us are falling ill, including yours truly.

I've been eating my cold medicine plus the home remedy of honey for the cough. Not appetite today so I'll put off the carrot-ginger soup to tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get better by the weekend and the weather will cooperate. Looking forward to meeting Jenni finally this Saturday.

Photos from Rosslyn Chapel

2008-09-30T22:30:00.000+01:00

I was surprised that Rosslyn Chapel was actually quite near Heriot Watt. So a friend, Roxandra, and I decided to go and visit one Sunday morning. Unfortunately, we got there after the Church service which Roxy wanted to attend. Anyway, here are some pictures we took.

Roxy and I in front of the ruins of Rosslyn Castle. I think this is the bridge where they shot the Da Vinci's Code where Tom Hank's character reunited with the girl.

The two of us exploring the ruins.

Notice the celtic pattern on the cross? Cool.

A glimpse of the actual Rosslyn Chapel from the outside. It is under renovation and we weren't allowed to take pictures inside. But I really admired the architecture and sculptures.

Breathtaking view from the Chapel

Okay, we couldn't resist the temptations and were plucking and eating the wild blackberries that grew around the chapel.

Eid Mubarak

2008-09-30T18:16:00.004+01:00

It's already Eid here in Edinburgh, and my family is celebrating Eid-ul-Fitr tomorrow. I woke up this morning with the intention to go for Eid prayers but found myself ill with cough and cold. Probably the rain I've been exposed to over the last few days. I miss my family at this time because, right now, I would be doing the takbir with my Dad and waking up to the savory pastries and sweets. I miss my nephew's and brother's antics. I guess the illness also contribute to a certain extend. Luckily, there're the classes to keep up with.

That's it for now. Eid Mubarak (Happy Eid/Selamat Hari Raya), everyone. I ask for forgiveness for any wrong/sin I've committed against my family and friends.

Addendum: I want to thank my aunt for giving me the serondeng, my mom for sending me the lontong and my dad who footed the bill...my friends who came for my impromptu Eid celebration praised the simple combination.

Enjoying being a student

2008-09-25T22:02:00.003+01:00

Budgets, tutorials, long, boring lectures, and cramped spaces...all part of the package of a student. And I'm loving it!

Spent the day today at University of Edinburgh for our stochastic processes and simulation lectures. Dry, boring theorems but as I sat there listening and trying to grasp the concepts, I think I know why I fell "in love." There is a certain beauty in the mathematics behind the stochastic processes that I've not been able to appreciate before this.

Anyway, hope that this will continue and I can hopefully do well for the whole course.

Book review: Archeron

2008-09-20T19:18:00.002+01:00

Sizzling! What can I say? Sherrilyn Kenyon combined all the elements I love in this book: mythology, supernatural, romance, and adventure. Archeron is the latest in her Dark Hunters series and probably the best. It covers his early life in Greece and Atlantis, which was only hinted at in earlier books, and the present day events. However, you don't really need to read the earlier stories in order to enjoy this one.

I'm not sure how authentic are her Atlantean fantasy - probably the speculation that it is in the Aegian sea is true. As for the pantheon of Gods in Atlantis, I'm really not sure but I think she definitely took some creative licensing there. Anyway, good leisure reading.

Photos from Heriot Watt

2008-09-20T15:11:00.017+01:00

Given that I was up so early (hoping to sustain this habit), I took the time to venture out and these are but some of the things I found...Heriot Watt really got some magical places which I didn't manage to capture. The smell of pine, flowers, combined with the chirping of birds, chatter of squirrels, barking of dogs in the distance, remind me of the enchanted forest written by Enid Blyton. I even saw this ever so gigantic tree reaching to the sky that could have housed Moonface and the folks.

Ah, such industrious fellows, aren't they, the spider and bees?

I was charmed by this lone toadstool on the pathway. Against all odds, it managed to grow there.

Are these bluebells? The bees seemed to love them.

Wind swept moor? Not quite but it does bring that to mind.

Ah, finally the manicured lawn I was expecting.

A rather charming little brook.

Finally, the sun is out.

I wonder if you can eat these berries? Probably not, but they are interesting.

The lake near Caddon Hall where I live.

Just in front of Caddon Hall is this bridge linking to the Student Union.

Photos of Edinburgh 1

2008-09-20T14:52:00.005+01:00

Went for a city tour with the Chaplaincy - was raining the whole way but managed to get this picture of one of the beaches in Edinburgh. They say you can walk to the Island in the middle if the tide is low enough.

With the rain and gray sky, this picture of Arthur's Seat in the distance look dull. But I think the scene would have looked quite spectacular if it were sunny.

Went into the city on Sunday 14/09 and was charmed by the sight of the castle in the distance.

And of the holyrood park in the other corner.

First weekend in Edinburgh

2008-09-20T13:31:00.004+01:00

Would that all the weekends are just as sunny. :D This morning, I woke up and found the blue sky I am so familiar with. What a rare treat since I've barely seen the sun in the week I've been here. Of course, Heriot Watt's campus is such a beautiful place (not so much of its architecture) with lakes, gardens, and magical forests. Couldn't resist going out and exploring the place through my viewfinder. I'm not that good of a photographer but hopefully it will give just some impressions of my week in Edinburgh. I'll post it after this.

I've had an interesting week. The accomodation office mistook me for a guy and assigned me to a guys' only flat. That took me about 4 days to sort out. By then, my course started and I've been busy ever since. My classmates are great; quite an international crowd with the Greeks being the dominant group. Of course, (though I don't know for sure) I'm the oldest in the class. But that's a good way of staying young. :D

Anyway, enjoyed the classes so far but it'll be a crazy year with almost 25 contact hours per week. Just hope I get to relax over the weekends as I am doing today.

Islamic Finance Part 2 - credit/debt-driven economy

2008-09-18T07:37:00.004+01:00

Merrill Lynch, Lehman, AIG, HBOS? What's next? This article is a good read on one of the underlying factors causing the failures of these organizations. The main problem with the credit crunch is that it is driven by debt, debt-securities and derivatives/instruments. That is exactly the problem that perplexes me the most.

In my life, the one rule to do with finance that I follow is a wisdom that my father passed down very early to all his children, i.e. "Live your life free from debt." It is such that I dread using the credit card and makes sure that I can pay my bills on time - never borrow on credit. I know of several of my friends who live by this maxim too. One of them even bought her car in cash!

As I grew up, I realize that the wisdom was an actual wisdom that Islam promotes for its financial sector. Coupled with its prohibition on interest rates/usury, Muslims are discouraged to spend with what they do not have. That means, in financial terms, the practice of borrowing from the bank to buy equities/other financial instruments are frowned at. This is because of the interest rates of the bank for one and second, you do not have the underlying asset to pay off the debt in the case that the prices of these instruments fall, as we see it doing right now.

Of course, this does not extend to things like financing your business or car/home loans. The way Islamic finance deal with these matters is through either a shared-partnership schemes in the case of the business or in which they retain ownership until such a time you have fully paid the price of the car/home. Of course, this is from what little I've read. The actual process is slightly more complicated but basically the foundation is not debt-driven. Allah knows best...

In Edinburgh

2008-09-14T18:00:00.003+01:00

Finally, I made it to Edinburgh. I've been here for more than 24 hours and what an adventure it is already.

My flight was delay for more than an hour at the wee hours of Saturday morning so I only got in to Heathrow at 7.30 am. Luckily my connecting flight to Edinburgh was not till 11 am. So I whiled away my time by reading Archeron by Sherrilyn Kenyon. Wow! This is her best book yet. Ok, getting back to the trip, got in to Ediburgh airport at 1 pm (again we were delayed by air traffic). Took a taxi to my hall but realized I had to go to the main reception to get the keys. Sigh, I had to drag all my luggages up the hill and staircases to reception before getting the keys and settling in.

Alhamdulillah, I met this kind lady from Libya and she then showed me the prayer place and directed me to get some crockery from the Chaplaincy. Lucky! Now I've just to get a knife, spetula/ladle, and cutting board. Then, I found out that I'm roomed with four guys! They probably assigned me to the guys' flat instead of girls' flat. Now, I've got to sort this out but not till Tuesday as Monday is their holiday. However, my flatmates are really good (well the three I've met); Edwin from Nigeria, Vincent from France, and Yang from China. So the only awkward thing is the bathroom/toilet arrangements.

Anyway, this morning, managed to chat with my family. Then as I was walking to the reception area, I met this brother named Alami who was very generous. Finishing his PhD, he gave me some stationary, helped me print out the prayer timetable and even gave me directions to various places. On his recommendations, I went out to the city today to scout around for the food places. Found two halal butcher shops near the Central Mosque. Tomorrow, I might go down to Asda to do some more shopping. Alhamdulillah, Allah has helped me a lot. My du'a for the kind people who helped me.

Weather is cold, even though it is still summer here. So far, it has not rained for the two days I've been here. I shudder to think what it's going to be like once winter sets in. Have to get my winter clothings settle soon.

Well, it's nearly time for the break fast. Signing off.

Legacy - by Mediachantek

2008-09-07T17:30:00.003+01:00

A video about Ramadhan by Mediachantek on youtube. Perspective of a young man about his journey of the various Ramadhans...

Ramadhan Mubarak

2008-09-07T16:41:00.002+01:00

Ramadhan Mubarak to all Muslims. It's the 8th night of Ramadhan and to me, the happiest. Tonight, my whole family was home to have iftar (break fast) together and (with the exception of my mom who had to entertain my nephew) prayed Maghrib as a family. This is going to be the last family prayer for a while for me as I will be leaving on Friday and I doubt everyone will be obliging enough to free their schedule for another family enmass prayer during the weekdays leading to Friday.

Further, this is the first Ramadhan that War War joined our family officially. So, not only my nephew is excited by the large gathering...I was too. Insya Allah, there will be more such gatherings in the years to come.

Islamic Finance

2008-08-20T17:45:00.000+01:00

Read this interesting article: Al-Suwailem, S. (2000) Towards an objective measure of Gharar in Exchange. Islamic Economic Studies. Vol 7, No. 1&2, pp. 61-102.

His paper is very interesting as he defined Gharar, not as uncertainty and risk as in the traditional sense, but a zero-sum game (that is, in order for one to win, the other must lose). He argued quite well using Islamic and non-Islamic sources that one important Islamic principle, the eating of others' money for nothing, is reflected strongly by the zero-sum exchange.

He then suggests a measure of Gharar based on the Shariah: Y(d) = sum_w(p_iy_i) - sum_w'(p_iy_i) where Y(d) represents the net cooperation value for a given player from exchange d. The probability of state i = p_i , y_i = payoff of state i. w = set of states for win-win while w' = set of states for win-lose or lose-lose. So a negative value indicates a zero-sum exchange which is undesirable.

What I find interesting is really his arguments which gives me some insights into Islamic finance. With the argument of zero-sum exchange, I see why gambling is illegal, not so much as the uncertainty and game of chance, but that it is an extreme form of a zero-sum exchange where there is definitely no possibility of a win-win situation. In order for one to win, others have to lose.

That is in contrast with the lucky draws that we always organize in Singapore. I've always wondered why lucky draws are deemed to be legal Islamically. Now I understand. In gambling, the players have to set their bets - which means there will be negative payoffs (a set of winners and losers)...in the lucky draw, the players do not contribute anything, so there is no losers, only winners (payoffs are always positive). Using the Gharar measure, w' will be an empty set and the net cooperation value should not be negative.

That helps set the tone for the financial organizations for more cooperative contracts rather than competing ones. Will write more on this later.

Considering to upgrade to SLR

2008-08-20T10:22:00.002+01:00

Hmm...choices, choices. Of course, I'm on a tight budget since I'll be a student once more. Well, what are my options:

Canon 400D, 450D, 1000D
Nikon D40, D40X, D60
Sony Alpha 200, 300, 350.

Which one will offer the best value for my money. Consider that I'll be in Scotland and likely to take outdoor photos (lanscapes, buildings, people), evening photos (low lighting) as I'll be busy during the day. Also, somethings I am considering based on my previous camera:

1. Image Stabilizers
2. AF speed

Hmm...

Persistant Bug

2008-08-14T03:05:00.002+01:00

Maybe that my body is signalling something to me that I'm exhausted...this cold is lingering for over a week now and getting worse.

And somehow the medicine is making me feel muzzy and sleepy. Yet, too much things still to do...May God grant me better health soon.

The wedding photos

2008-08-04T05:36:00.006+01:00

Tired but happy!

2008-08-03T17:18:00.003+01:00

Even after a day, I still feel very tired from my brother's wedding...tired but happy. Everything went well...by no means perfect, but it definitely exceeds expectations. The nikah was on time at 5.30 pm with my friend, Ustaz Abdul Manaf, solemnizing. Then, at 6.30, cocktail started. Unfortunately, guests were late and we had to start the dinner at 8.30 pm instead of the scheduled 8 pm. But that afforded the chance to catch up with those guests arriving early. This is especially precious as most of the guests are family and close relatives. After that, everything went quite smoothly and the occassion finished about 11 pm with some of the closest relatives lingering to chat.

Food was great and music, as provided by my friend Elson and his band, was superb. The Hilton staff is definitely the friendliest and most efficient that I've ever encountered. Don't know about the guests but I definitely had a blast.

Still, there were the drama...my parents were to go home with my uncle and aunt who came down from Malacca. Unfortunately, the house key was with me and I was staying at the hotel for the night. So, they had to turn back to fetch the key....ah well, that couldn't rival my sister's wedding drama of the house being flooded. :D

Well, will write more soon...in the mean time, have to apologise to my friends who weren't invited. I really wished I could invite but there weren't enough tables.

Peace

My brother's wedding

2008-08-01T06:46:00.004+01:00

Tomorrow is my brother's wedding. Can't believe he is that grown up. I remember telling him bedtime stories...ah, time passes so quickly. I think my mother would be very happy had she been alive today.

“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and compassion for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)

So here's my prayer for him and War War:

Oh God, strengthen their love for you and so rediscover their love for each other through you.
Oh God, bless their marriage as they undertake one of your charges to us.
Oh God, grant them your grace and that they have compassion and care for each other.
Oh God, grant them tranquility in their home that they may use it to be closer to you.
Oh God, grant them good children, that their children be a delight to their eyes.

Sid

The pleasure of reading

2008-07-30T05:41:00.002+01:00

Reading is a pleasure...I can't remember a time when my parents didn't read. I started reading when I was 3 and my sister started about the same age too. Only my two brothers do not seem to have this love of reading in them.

So imagine my surprise yesterday when my nephew took out his Thomas books and started reading to me. At only 2 years old, he was able to read his books. Maybe, his diction is still not clear, but clearly, he loves the books and loves reading them. He made me follow him reading from the beginning to the end of one of the books. COOL!

Now, I wonder how to get my brother to read his books! After all, his oral exam is around the corner and yet, he is not making the effort to practise reading.

Life throws you a curve ball

2008-07-24T04:21:00.003+01:00

One moment, you are healthy and the next...God's will be done. For those watching, all we can do is pray, for there are no other recourse left to us.

That's the reason, the Prophet left us this saying (paraphrasing from what I remembered which may not be accurate):

Appreciate these five things:

youth, before you are old,

health, before you are ill,

rich, before you are poor,

leisure time, before you are busy,

life, before you die.

Make your preparations during the "good" periods before the "bad" periods. That was the wisdom of the Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) left for us. He advised the Pharoah to prepare in the seven years of abundance for the seven lean years and that served the people of Egypt well. Similarly, we should do likewise and then leave what we cannot control up to God.

As I just taught my students in Linear Programming, we must identify three elements:

1. Our goal/Objective

2. The Decision Variables - the elements we can control

3. The constraints/limitations/requirements we are under

From there, we need to make the best decision. Yet, the best decision is not one where the outcome is always good. Just one in which we really exercised our best judgement based on the three elements above. The outcome is also influenced by factors that are not within our control. And those factors are what we leave up to God.

So in appreciating the 5 "good" things before the 5 "bad" things, we must ask ourselves these questions:

1. Did we make full use of our youth?

2. Did we do everything we can to stay healthy?

3. Did we utilize our wealth wisely?

4. Did we waste precious time?

5. Did we achieve our life's mission?

If the answer is yes, then when life throws you a curveball, you are content and there is no regrets. In the Qur'an, God describes of those who died when they saw Him on Judgement Day, they begged for a few more moments of this life to atone. But then, it is too late. None of us can recover three of the five things: our youth, time, and life. Perhaps if it is God's will, you can recover your health and wealth like Prophet Job. If that's the case, you are one of the lucky ones.

So let's not waste any more of our precious gifts that God has bestowed upon us.

Peace.

A change in the air

2008-06-29T13:48:00.003+01:00

Okay, I've finally made up my mind and change is definitely in the air. I've committed myself by accepting an offer to study financial mathematics at University of Heriot Watt and not renewing my contract with Singapore Polytechnic.

By September, I will be in Scotland for at least a year...let's see what happens after. However, it was not an easy decision. To use most of my life's savings, to not have a job to count on after I finish...I'm "gambling" everything I have on this. Can I really get a good job, competing with youngsters ten years younger? Should I not stay and advance my career instead?

Well, my father's advice was to leave it to God...do your best, what's in the Future, your livelihood, God will arrange. So here I am, preparing for another change in my life, putting my trust in God that He will see me through this.

Weird Sickness

2008-06-08T06:43:00.002+01:00

Have you ever been sick but do not know how to diagnose your illness? Well, I've been sick since Thursday and only started to recover yesterday evening. Yet, the doctor had no real idea what is wrong even when I told him the symptoms:
1. Sore throat
2. Stomach cramps
3. Nausea
4. Aching body
5. Migraine/Tension headache
6. Diarrhea

It wasn't a viral infection, he said. So he just gave me muscle relaxant-cum-pain reliever for my cramps/aches/migraine, medicine for swelling and something for the diarrhea. Not that I ate most of the medicine...I really wish medicine wouldn't come in a pill form. Couldn't the medical industry think of other delivery system other than pills?

Oh, well...anyway, just want to blow off a little steam since I am finally feeling human again.

Peace.

Selling my collection

2008-05-27T16:12:00.002+01:00

I admit it! I am a bookworm and I used to dream of my own house with a dedicated room for library. Since I started reading at the age of 3, I've been collecting books. My collection of children books unfortunately did not survive my brothers...brothers can be a destructive force on books!

But my other book collections, including religious texts, science and mathematics, fantasy, science fiction, romance, etc, have grown so much that I've three big cabinets dedicated to them and I'm running out of space. I've decided that I will be selling some of these precious books since my parents are complaining about the space they take up. It is a painful feeling but I have no choice.

So for the next two weekends, I will have to catalogue my books and see which ones I will let go of and try selling on ebay.

Handwriting Analysis

2008-05-20T15:35:00.003+01:00

I tried a handwriting analysis at Compatamate.com and here are parts of the results (and my comments):

Your Fundamental Temperament — How You Approach

Your basic nature is one of benevolence, amicability, friendliness and cordiality. You do not like conflict and will assume a lot of responsibility for keeping the peace, whether it is yours or not. In the negative, these characteristics can become complacency or escape tactics in order to remove yourself from the discomfort is causes you.

(well, not sure about benevolence but I do like keeping the peace...the wording is strange "discomfort is causes you." I wonder if it's a grammatical error.)

The Primary Motivation Behind Your Behavior

You strive for balance of the mental, emotional and physical realms. At this point in your life, your primary motivation is to be the best that you can be. You will seek opportunities to display your talents. You demonstrate a willingness to assume responsibility and thrive on freedom to experiment. Independence, trust and responsibility are important to satisfying your needs at this time.

(Okay, quite accurate so far.)

Life's Impact Upon You

At this point in time, emotional situations impact you moderately. While some issues that have little importance to you will roll off your back quickly and easily, this is not the case when something is important to you. When your feelings are stimulated, good or bad, you do not get over them easily.

The depth of your feelings creates passion. You have energy to invest in anything that sparks your interests and will pursue it with purpose. Your emotional memory keeps you committed to your undertakings.

You enjoy sensuous stimulants: fine foods, rich textures, etc., as well as sensuous endeavors within moderation.

(Not too bad; I rarely bear people a grudge but there are a few.)

Your Emotional Response to Life's Experiences

Your emotional responses are controlled and border on non-expression. Others see you as cool, calm and collected, even unemotional and undemonstrative. You do not move into relationships or new situations quickly. Some people may tag you as noncommittal because of this. Even when you want to make contact, it is not easy to reach out or really communicate with others. In many cases, you might be less inclined to speak at length because to do so would mean to reveal more of yourself.

(Well, given that I've been called a robot...yeah, I guess this should be accurate enough.)

You stand on your own two feet and expect others to do the same, all the while discouraging emotional dependency. You do not burden others with your personal pain or problems and are not particularly comfortable when they attempt to "bounce" their feelings off of you. Even your language is void of emotional words; rather than say "I feel," you are more comfortable with "I think." When you must deal with emotional displays, it is most natural for you to want to withdraw. Such behavior can result in leaving the other person more frustrated than before (which also serves as a way of getting even if you are angry) and the loss of that relationship becomes a possibility, since neither party can communicate effectively. You appreciate and build more solid relationships with people possessing similar emotional restraint.

(Yep, I think this is accurate enough in parts...I definitely use more "I think" then "I feel". But I don't think that I withdraw. In fact, some people say that I'm a good listener.)

Problem Solving and Learning — Your Mental Processing Powers

You would have been drawn to a highly skilled profession by the natural intensity in you character, but now you find that having to attend to details drives you crazy. They take too much time and time is something of which you rarely have enough.

The development of this habit is usually a result of deeply felt pain. Energies are turned toward escaping the pain; if you are busy enough you will not feel it. And, so you become busy, possibly a workaholic, but definitely an escapist, and everything becomes a blur as you speed through life.

(Now, this is where I have some doubts. I don't mind details...I like details if they are necessary or advancing the work/project. However, red tapes and all sorts of admin stuff aren't my forte. Okay, I am a bit of a workaholic and an escapist...after all, that's what fantasy is for.)

The Scope of Your World and Your Importance in it

Your moderately outgoing nature opens doors for you to make contact with the outside world. Whether you will or not is dependent on your emotional response level. You enjoy socializing and would not be content without a reasonable amount of people contact. You are receptive to your environment and willing to draw resources from it. You believe "No man is an island."

You are able to shift your attention easily from thought to thought, person to person or project to project. Interruptions rarely bother you and you are able to regain your focus on what you were doing with relative ease. You are able to handle more than one task at a time and are most content when what you are doing allows you a reasonable amount of freedom of thought and space.

(Hmm...I do find that I can juggle a few things together even if I can't juggle physically. Sure, moderate outgoing nature is the key word. I wasn't as outgoing when I was younger.)

Your Current Governing Philosophy

The even-keel you nurture tends to balance how you perceive matters and move through life. You are able to cheer the pessimist and pull the optimist down to reality. To others, you can represent the most steady, predictable thing in the lives.

(Hmm...hope so.)

Mother's Day

2008-05-10T19:32:00.001+01:00

Mother's day is finally here. While I'm not bringing out my stepmother for dinner today, the whole family will be celebrating in two weeks time. One of the difficulties with grown up children with families of their own is the ability to find common time.

But today, I want to write about my late mother instead. She passed away 15 years ago, a long time by any standard but her legacy lives on in her children. Last weekend, my family paid a visit to my mother's eldest brother's house during his house warming. We found out from Uncle Allan that my mother's love of cats and animals was inherited. I never thought that love for animals were a inherited trait...it seemed more like a social condition; if your parents used to have pets and you grow up surrounded with pets, you are likely to have one yourself since you are used to the idea. But clearly, even though my mother was given away as a baby, she had the same love for animals as did her biological parents and siblings.

However, it is not just her love of animals that make people love her. It is her generosity and compassion. I remembered when I was small that one of my father's relatives stole her entire jewelery collection (at the time, we were really poor and she struggled to save for them). Instead of reporting it to the police, she forgave the person and still welcomed her (albeit more cautiously). My father's eldest sister considered her to be her actual sister and told me after my mother's passing that she had lost a confidante.

My mother was the one who taught me to be inclusive and that family is not about blood. It can be seen through my mother's relations...my mother was adopted and so was her younger half-sister. Her parents split and she was raised by a stepmother who brought her oldest daughter. So my mother grew with a step-sister and a half-sister who had no blood connection with each other. Yet, till today, I am close with both my aunts because my mother used to very close to them. My relatives also include my father's step-sister's family. My step-aunt happened to be my mother's best friend. That was how my parents met.

So, it was not a wonder that my family was able to embrace my stepmother and her family. To us, it is not the blood that matters but the feelings of closeness. Something that my mother managed to pass down to us.

Of course, the last advice she ever gave me is to be humble. That is not an easy task but I am trying to follow the advice to the best of my ability...for all our differences, mom, I do love you.

Anita Hook

2008-05-09T03:37:00.004+01:00

Anita was one of the first FOLC (fans of Lois and Clark) I met. At the time, I was writing fanfiction in that fandom and being in Cambridge, Mass, I could be active in IRC since I was basically in the same time zone as most of the US FOLC.

While I got to know several FOLCs, Anita quite stood out. Being far away from home, I felt welcomed by her, especially after we met during the Christmas period that year (I think it was 2001). I still have the Superman T-shirt she gave me then. And in the years since, while we've not stayed in close contact, we've always managed to catch up on the IRC and exchanged emails. She was a warm and generous person, very fun loving. Given Boston's weather condition, she still got a convertible for herself after experiencing it in LA.

FOLC has lost one of its stalwart. She was very knowledgable on FOLC and was willing to help any of us. She even extended me an invitation to come and stay with her when I visit...unfortunately I never managed to take her up on her offer....and now...great! I can't seem to stop crying. It is a shock this morning when I checked my email and saw an email from a mutual friend, Natascha, that she passed away last week. I still can't get over it since as I mentioned earlier in my blog that just last week, Natascha mentioned that Anita was suffering from kidney failure. I was hoping that dialysis could help but I guess God has other plans.

Anita, here's to you...may God bless you for all the generosity and kindness you have shown to all of us at FOLC...we'll miss you!

Understanding investment theories

2008-05-08T06:58:00.001+01:00

Okay, I've been reading this book entitled "Investments" by Sharpe, Alexander, and Bailey. I'm also starting to read on "Derivative Securities" by Jarrow and Turnbull. Really, mind boggling...I thought I am quite savvy about investments, but little did I know.

Anyway, read about all types of instruments used for investments like call/put options, short selling, etc. So buy = long and sell = short. While I understand the dynamics of short selling, it doesn't make much sense to me. How is it possible to sell something that you don't own?

Another concept is the interest rates and present values. Seems like today's money is worth more than tomorrow's money. That means that not only does our wealth decreases with time, but to make up for it, we would need to use more and more resources to maintain the same level of wealth...hmm, given we have finite resources, is that why we're having all these crisis of food shortage, poverty, and so on? No wonder, we are called the consumer society.

I do understand that the argument that if you invest now, your money will grow...but that is not the same as "today's money is worth more than tomorrow's." Because of inflation and other factors, our purchasing power decreases even as we invest the money. A return of $100 in 5 years for every $100 we invest now (nominal return) may not have the same purchasing power if we had obtained that return today.

So, something is seriously wrong with our economy if my intepretations of what I'm reading are correct.

Another accident - part 2

2008-05-02T05:08:00.002+01:00

Well, seems like this is the week for bad news. Not only was I in an accident two days ago, yesterday, my brother had an accident which landed him in the hospital for a day or two. He was on his way back home riding his bike when he fell asleep and found himself falling down. Currently his left knee is injured and he has scrapes and bruises all over his hands. Luckily there was no other injury.

Then last night, I heard my Rotary club president had a mild heart attack and another Rotarian is suffering from bronchitis. Also, my uncle came yesterday and told us that my aunt is now on dialysis...I had a similar email from a friend about one of our mutual friends. And lastly, I found out another friend's nephew was suffering from cancer.

God, please grant those afflicted with good health and a fast recovery. Grant them also patience in their adversity and strength to see it through. Ameen.

Another accident

2008-04-30T02:42:00.002+01:00

It's just crazy. I don't normally believe in "feng shui" or something like this but I've driven for 8 years and it is only in this last 6 months or so that I've had accidents frequently. My previous car was a Daihatsu Charade, small zippy little red car which by the time it retired was about 20 years old. I drove it for 6 years and other than the normal first year newbie dents and mishaps, I only had 2 accidents in it. One was my fault and the other was someone banging into me.

Now, in my new car, Toyota Vios, dark silver and definitely larger than my old car, I've had three accidents where cars bang into me everytime. And all within the last six months or so. Is it the colour or the size or perhaps even the fact that my new car has a boot? Today's probably the worst as the lights got peeled off and the boot cover is totally smashed in. Sigh, I should have taken the MRT as I initially planned.

Anyway, I just thank God that no one was injured.

Complaining

2008-04-29T03:20:00.002+01:00

I know that Singaporeans have very bad reputation of wanting excellent service when they go abroad. Part of the reason being that we try our best to give excellent service here in Singapore. However, not all Singaporeans give that kind of service.

Last night, I came back from work and decided to stop for a carwash. While the car is being washed, I stopped by this 7-11 store to get something for dinner as I didn't really have a proper dinner earlier. Wanted to get the mash potato but I couldn't find the container. So I approached the counter.

The lady behind the counter was serving another customer, so I waited. After he finished, she didn't even look at me, instead started to count the money in the cash register. After I prompted a few times, she then asked me what I wanted. Yet when I asked her for the container to the mash potato, she told me that it is all there at the mash potato machine. So I went back and searched. I went back again since I couldn't find it. This time, she told me that there's no more then since I can't find it. I can't believe that she couldn't be bothered to restock the containers...here is a customer willing to spend money and she just didn't want to make any effort to secure the easy money.

I was really cheezed off and walked out of the store without buying a single thing. If only she had shown a bit more effort by perhaps checking for extra containers, I would have gotten, not only the mash potato, but also other stuff for my dinner.

Forbidden Kingdom...a brief review

2008-04-19T17:57:00.005+01:00

Just returned from watching Forbidden Kingdom and while I wouldn't rave about it, I did enjoy it. I guess the fighting scenes made up for all of the shortcomings of the film.

Okay, let me nitpick a bit:

1. The first thing that jarred me was the "dual" language of English and Chinese...I would have preferred they pick either one. Since it is a mystical thing anyway, why not give Jason the gift of understanding Chinese. Because, I definitely don't think Lu Yan etc. would have been able to speak English.

2. The brothel scene...the dancers in those bra. I've watched a lot of Chinese movies and know quite a bit of Chinese culture; I doubt in ancient China, dancers would be in bra...too western/modern.

3. Another scene that had me wincing was the scene that seemed to be ripped right off Lord of the Rings. This was the scene when Golden Sparrow was telling them how the Jade Warlord sent his army to kill her parents.

And of course, the plot is just really cheesy. Okay, so what do I like about the movie?

1. The fighting scenes...cool stuff, especially when Jackie started with the drunken fist style. I remember the very first movie I watched with Jackie in it was the "Drunken Master" and how he was taught that style. And loved the scene when Jackie and Jet Li were fighting in the temple.

2. The dynamics between Jet Li and Jackie...those dialogues were good and they had good chemistry.

3. Loved the cinematography...the scenes of at the bamboo forest, Jason's training at the waterfall, the mountains scenery, sand dunes, etc.

4. The twist at the end...we didn't really see Hop's face in the beginning though I had a suspicion that it might have been Lu Yan. And true enough, yes, it was Jackie but aged.

Well, that's the brief review of the movie...if you do have some time to spare and love kungfu movies, do try to catch this one.

Peace.